Dear Dave:

What did YOU use before toilet paper was invented?

Ken's shirt sleeves?

Signed,
Clean fingers in Cincy

 

Dear Dave:

But Kathy would prefer not to drive the entire w/e.... she likes being the passenger...

Now what do we do?

Signed,
Designated Driver in Cincy
[/quote]

Dear Designated,

We are both happily married men (at least I am), so "we" both know the answer to that question. for those of you that don't know the answer, read the "rules"

rule #1: The woman makes all the rules.

rule #2 If the woman isn't happy, nobody is happy!

rule #3 The man is not capable of understanding all the rules.

rule #4 If the man figures out a rule, the woman is required to change the rule immediately, without telling the man!

rule #5 If there is a misunderstanding about the rules ;it ts the mans fault and he will apologize for the misunderstanding immediately.

rule #6 When the man is doing something in the presense of a woman, he will submit to the advice, criticism and complaint of the woman at all times (especially when he is driving)

rule #7 When the woman is doing something in the presence of the man, he will apologize immediately for putting the woman to all the bother of whatever she is doing, (including driving).

rule#8 (Some have listed this as rule #1) The woman is always right!

rule #9 the man is always wrong!

rule #10 If by some chance the man is right, it is because of some mis-communication, action or circumstance that was the mans fault and he will apologize for such immediately.

rule #11 - If the woman has PMS, all rules are null and void and the man must apologize for it!


So, you figure out what to do

Signed,

Happily Married in PA
[/quote]

I never learned to follow rules...non-conformity ftw.
[/quote]

Your are none the less, conforming to the norm. See rule #3 and rule #4. But let me expand on "THE RULES".

Rule #12 - the man cannot win, even if he tries!

rule #13 If the man tries to win, he will immediately apologize to the woman for taking advantage of her.

rule #14 the man will never disagree with the woman except when she wants him to disagree.

rule #15 The woman will never under any circumstances tell the man she wants him to disagree.

rule #16 No man can document all the rules.

rule #17 - any attempt by a man to document the rules will end badly.

rule 18 - When any man attempts to avoid or break the rules, he will be emotionally, figuritively and/or literally "cutoff". (use your imagination!)

rule #19 - the only men exempt from the rules are gay.

 

Dear dirty finger,

While my appearance may indicate that I have been around since "dirt was young", I can asure you that I have not been around as long as Ken. but for historical accuracy, and so as not to offend those who were around when "Waldorf" or "Rears and Sorebutt" were the standard, here is a little history of toilet paper.

What did people use before toilet paper? Well, just use your imagination: grass, leaves, fur, mussell shells, corncobs, stinging nettles... okay, maybe not that last, at least not more than once. The ancient Greeks used stones and pieces of clay; ancient Romans used sponges on the ends of sticks, kept in jugs filled with salty water. Mideasterners commonly used the left hand, which is supposedly still considered unclean in the Arabian region. <LI>"Official" toilet paper - that is, paper which was produced specifically for the purpose - dates back at least to the late 14th Century, when Chinese emperors ordered it in 2-foot x 3-foot sheets. <LI>Corncobs and pages torn from newspapers and magazines were commonly used in the early American West. The Sears catalogue was well-known in this context, and even produced such humorous spinoffs as the "Rears and Sorebutt" catalogue. The Farmer's Almanac had a hole in it so it could be hung on a hook and the pages torn off easily. <LI>Joseph C. Gayetty of New York started producing the first packaged toilet paper in the U.S. in 1857. It consisted of pre-moistened flat sheets medicated with aloe and was named "Gayetty’s Medicated Paper". Gayetty's name was printed on every sheet. <LI>Rolled and perforated toilet paper as we're familiar with today was invented around 1880. Various sources attribute it to the Albany Perforated Wrapping (A.P.W.) Paper Company in 1877, and to the Scott Paper company in 1879 or 1890. On a side note, the Scott Company was too embarrassed to put their name on their product, as the concept of toilet paper was a sensitive subject at the time, so they customized it for their customers... hence the Waldorf Hotel became a big name in toilet paper.


Signed,

Not shaking your left hand!

 

Dear Dave:

But Kathy would prefer not to drive the entire w/e.... she likes being the passenger...

Now what do we do?

Signed,
Designated Driver in Cincy
[/quote]

Dear Designated,

We are both happily married men (at least I am), so "we" both know the answer to that question. for those of you that don't know the answer, read the "rules"

rule #1: The woman makes all the rules.

rule #2 If the woman isn't happy, nobody is happy!

rule #3 The man is not capable of understanding all the rules.

rule #4 If the man figures out a rule, the woman is required to change the rule immediately, without telling the man!

rule #5 If there is a misunderstanding about the rules ;it ts the mans fault and he will apologize for the misunderstanding immediately.

rule #6 When the man is doing something in the presense of a woman, he will submit to the advice, criticism and complaint of the woman at all times (especially when he is driving)

rule #7 When the woman is doing something in the presence of the man, he will apologize immediately for putting the woman to all the bother of whatever she is doing, (including driving).

rule#8 (Some have listed this as rule #1) The woman is always right!

rule #9 the man is always wrong!

rule #10 If by some chance the man is right, it is because of some mis-communication, action or circumstance that was the mans fault and he will apologize for such immediately.

rule #11 - If the woman has PMS, all rules are null and void and the man must apologize for it!


So, you figure out what to do

Signed,

Happily Married in PA
[/quote]

I never learned to follow rules...non-conformity ftw.
[/quote]

Your are none the less, conforming to the norm. See rule #3 and rule #4. But let me expand on "THE RULES".

Rule #12 - the man cannot win, even if he tries!

rule #13 If the man tries to win, he will immediately apologize to the woman for taking advantage of her.

rule #14 the man will never disagree with the woman except when she wants him to disagree.

rule #15 The woman will never under any circumstances tell the man she wants him to disagree.

rule #16 No man can document all the rules.

rule #17 - any attempt by a man to document the rules will end badly.

rule 18 - When any man attempts to avoid or break the rules, he will be emotionally, figuritively and/or literally "cutoff". (use your imagination!)

rule #19 - the only men exempt from the rules are gay.
[/quote]

Rule #20: All purchases made by the man over $20 must be approved by the woman. No purchases by the woman require notification to the man.

 

You guys have a $20 max limit before approval is needed?

Mines $5.46!!!

 

Does she make you pack your lunch?

 

Here are a couple of pictorial renderings of what I (we) are trying to articulate.

 

 

Dear Dave:

But Kathy would prefer not to drive the entire w/e.... she likes being the passenger...

Now what do we do?

Signed,
Designated Driver in Cincy
[/quote]

Dear Designated,

We are both happily married men (at least I am), so "we" both know the answer to that question. for those of you that don't know the answer, read the "rules"

rule #1: The woman makes all the rules.

rule #2 If the woman isn't happy, nobody is happy!

rule #3 The man is not capable of understanding all the rules.

rule #4 If the man figures out a rule, the woman is required to change the rule immediately, without telling the man!

rule #5 If there is a misunderstanding about the rules ;it ts the mans fault and he will apologize for the misunderstanding immediately.

rule #6 When the man is doing something in the presense of a woman, he will submit to the advice, criticism and complaint of the woman at all times (especially when he is driving)

rule #7 When the woman is doing something in the presence of the man, he will apologize immediately for putting the woman to all the bother of whatever she is doing, (including driving).

rule#8 (Some have listed this as rule #1) The woman is always right!

rule #9 the man is always wrong!

rule #10 If by some chance the man is right, it is because of some mis-communication, action or circumstance that was the mans fault and he will apologize for such immediately.

rule #11 - If the woman has PMS, all rules are null and void and the man must apologize for it!


So, you figure out what to do

Signed,

Happily Married in PA
[/quote]

I never learned to follow rules...non-conformity ftw.
[/quote]

Your are none the less, conforming to the norm. See rule #3 and rule #4. But let me expand on "THE RULES".

Rule #12 - the man cannot win, even if he tries!

rule #13 If the man tries to win, he will immediately apologize to the woman for taking advantage of her.

rule #14 the man will never disagree with the woman except when she wants him to disagree.

rule #15 The woman will never under any circumstances tell the man she wants him to disagree.

rule #16 No man can document all the rules.

rule #17 - any attempt by a man to document the rules will end badly.

rule 18 - When any man attempts to avoid or break the rules, he will be emotionally, figuritively and/or literally "cutoff". (use your imagination!)

rule #19 - the only men exempt from the rules are gay.
[/quote]

Rule #20: All purchases made by the man over $20 must be approved by the woman. No purchases by the woman require notification to the man.
[/quote]

 

I like Common Use #1!