One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God - anything you want after all you're the boss".

But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, ..... I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

"Yep, that's right, well sort of right?? this time I want you to fill it up with fish" God answers.

"Fish?" Queries Noah.

"Yep, fish ... well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!

" Noah looks to the skies, "OK, let me get this right. You want a New Ark?"

"Check".

"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".

"Check".

"And you want it full of Carp?".

"Check"

"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.

"Dunno" says God. "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

 

thats really bad

 

What did Geronimo yell when he jumped off the cliff?
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[ltred]MMMEEEEEEEE!!!!![/ltred]

 

Two elephants were in a bathtub. The first elephant says "pass the soap." The second elephant says "no soap, radio."

 

wanna hear a dirty joke?



the white horse fell in the mud.

 

How do you get a nun pregnant?
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Fu*k her.

 

HERE YOU GO
knock knock!
whos there?
(silence)......
thats right now get outta here

 

This is a repost.


---------------------------------------
An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and told the following tale...

"And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot
Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far, from town to town with thy goods, when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddlebags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and
delivered by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have his way with her. And Dot said, "There will be a lot of banging in the land". And Abraham replied, "It is my most fervent wish that
this be so."

So the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But his success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia even secreted himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.

And the young people did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drummaker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company
in the land. And, indeed, he did insist on making drums that would only work if you bought Brother Gates' drumsticks.

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel (or, as it came to be known, "eBay"), he said, "We need a name for a service that reflects what we are."

Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Handsome Owner-Operators."

"Whoopee!" said Abraham.

"No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com."

author unknown

 

Muz,

That was the longest joke I ever read & it was Bad

 

I really like it!