Ended a 5.5 year relationship. We were engaged.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,140
Likes: 162
From: Johnstown, PA
Ended a 5.5 year relationship. We were engaged.
Long story short, I ended a 5.5 year relationship with my fiance.
She had been getting lazier and lazier around the house. She did not want to work more than 20 hours/week yet wanted all the nice things in life. She stopped cleaning up after herself, stopped putting any effort into our relationship.
I ended it saying that I have too much on my plate with work, school and us living together. I would come home from work/school and she breakfast plate, lunch plate and any condiments/utensils were still laying all over the coffee table. She would be upstairs sleeping after her hard 5 hour shift at work.
Anyway,
So it is ended, I went and bought a 2004 Suzuka.
We have been broken up for 2 weeks now. I have not pursued any other woman.
So the other night, I see her car at the bar/club (The parking lot is on the main drag here) and my dumbass decides to head home, freshen up and head up there solo.
She saw me come in, looked like a deer in headlights. We did not speak the whole night.
She starts dancing with this wigger dude. She was standing there BARELY moving her hips and so was he. She saw me looking at her, turns around and puts one arm around the guy. It ripped my heart out. That went on for maybe 10 minutes.
Later on, she is talking with the dude.. I am sitting at the bar and all of a sudden she powerwalks out of the place.
I decide to wait a few seconds and walk after her.
I get outside and I see she is hunched over in her car (crying). I walked back in the bar, ordered my last beer and then headed home.
I figured at this point she was pretty depressed about our situation. I was ready to call her bawling and professing my love for her even though our relationship was garbage and I know it will never work. I was severely depressed.
So the next night, Im on my way back from my buddies house when I see her car at the bar AGAIN!
My questions:
Is she at the bar just to get some attention to make herself feel better?
Why would she have stormed out like that?
WHY oh why can I NOT get her out of my head?? I keep having these urges to call her and try to work things out.
How could she just hang on some other dude after only 2 weeks of being broken up? I mean.. we rented a house together, we have our 2 dogs, pictures, memories, possesions.. We have a little family here. How could she just forget about all that?
I need help getting through this.. Please offer some insight. My mind just falls into depression randomly and I want to call her.
She had been getting lazier and lazier around the house. She did not want to work more than 20 hours/week yet wanted all the nice things in life. She stopped cleaning up after herself, stopped putting any effort into our relationship.
I ended it saying that I have too much on my plate with work, school and us living together. I would come home from work/school and she breakfast plate, lunch plate and any condiments/utensils were still laying all over the coffee table. She would be upstairs sleeping after her hard 5 hour shift at work.
Anyway,
So it is ended, I went and bought a 2004 Suzuka.
We have been broken up for 2 weeks now. I have not pursued any other woman.
So the other night, I see her car at the bar/club (The parking lot is on the main drag here) and my dumbass decides to head home, freshen up and head up there solo.
She saw me come in, looked like a deer in headlights. We did not speak the whole night.
She starts dancing with this wigger dude. She was standing there BARELY moving her hips and so was he. She saw me looking at her, turns around and puts one arm around the guy. It ripped my heart out. That went on for maybe 10 minutes.
Later on, she is talking with the dude.. I am sitting at the bar and all of a sudden she powerwalks out of the place.
I decide to wait a few seconds and walk after her.
I get outside and I see she is hunched over in her car (crying). I walked back in the bar, ordered my last beer and then headed home.
I figured at this point she was pretty depressed about our situation. I was ready to call her bawling and professing my love for her even though our relationship was garbage and I know it will never work. I was severely depressed.
So the next night, Im on my way back from my buddies house when I see her car at the bar AGAIN!
My questions:
Is she at the bar just to get some attention to make herself feel better?
Why would she have stormed out like that?
WHY oh why can I NOT get her out of my head?? I keep having these urges to call her and try to work things out.
How could she just hang on some other dude after only 2 weeks of being broken up? I mean.. we rented a house together, we have our 2 dogs, pictures, memories, possesions.. We have a little family here. How could she just forget about all that?
I need help getting through this.. Please offer some insight. My mind just falls into depression randomly and I want to call her.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,140
Likes: 162
From: Johnstown, PA
I cannot keep my mind off of her. Even though I ended it and I was so so unhappy with our relationship. I know in my mind it could never work, yet I still have these urges to work things out.
I have trouble keeping myself busy when I am all alone in this house.
I have trouble keeping myself busy when I am all alone in this house.
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,606
Likes: 0
From: Jersey City, NJ
Honestly, her behavior (before breaking up) sounds like clinical depression.
I don't want to give you false hope, but perhaps with a visit to a therapist/psychiatrist she could show some improvements. I'm assuming her behaviors have been recent (in the last year or two) developments, rather than over the entire course of the relationship.
Mainly she might need:
Some sort of goal
Therapy
Meds.
(couples therapy might be good as well)
If you love her this much, and she clearly reciprocates, and this was a recent change, it might be something that is able to be overcome. That being said, of course I make no promises.
Good luck.
I don't want to give you false hope, but perhaps with a visit to a therapist/psychiatrist she could show some improvements. I'm assuming her behaviors have been recent (in the last year or two) developments, rather than over the entire course of the relationship.
Mainly she might need:
Some sort of goal
Therapy
Meds.
(couples therapy might be good as well)
If you love her this much, and she clearly reciprocates, and this was a recent change, it might be something that is able to be overcome. That being said, of course I make no promises.
Good luck.
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,140
Likes: 162
From: Johnstown, PA
Originally Posted by Ted H,Mar 2 2009, 08:36 PM
Honestly, her behavior (before breaking up) sounds like clinical depression.
I don't want to give you false hope, but perhaps with a visit to a therapist/psychiatrist she could show some improvements. I'm assuming her behaviors have been recent (in the last year or two) developments, rather than over the entire course of the relationship.
Mainly she might need:
Some sort of goal
Therapy
Meds.
(couples therapy might be good as well)
If you love her this much, and she clearly reciprocates, and this was a recent change, it might be something that is able to be overcome. That being said, of course I make no promises.
Good luck.
I don't want to give you false hope, but perhaps with a visit to a therapist/psychiatrist she could show some improvements. I'm assuming her behaviors have been recent (in the last year or two) developments, rather than over the entire course of the relationship.
Mainly she might need:
Some sort of goal
Therapy
Meds.
(couples therapy might be good as well)
If you love her this much, and she clearly reciprocates, and this was a recent change, it might be something that is able to be overcome. That being said, of course I make no promises.
Good luck.
It has been unacceptable for the past 2 years.. however the last 6 months have been out of control.
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,482
Likes: 3
From: Wylie, TX
Sounds like you need a rebound girl, and quick.
Dude, the relationship sucked. Don't let yourself fall into the mentality of "a bad relationship is better than no relationship," because that's just crap. Just be happy that you got out before you got married... at least this way she doesn't get away with 1/2 of everything you own.
Dude, the relationship sucked. Don't let yourself fall into the mentality of "a bad relationship is better than no relationship," because that's just crap. Just be happy that you got out before you got married... at least this way she doesn't get away with 1/2 of everything you own.