How would I be the cause of her gaining that weight?

 

Go back & read what you wrote.

 

Yes. She is at the bar to feel better. Whether for attention or to drown thoughts away, it is a way for her to cope. And IMO, not the best strategy if that's all she does because it's not good for long-term.

Probably trying to get your attention. She may have wanted you to confront it or catch on to her "storming" so you can follow her out. She probably wants to talk to you too but incapable of finding how.

5.5 year relationship. I would be more surprised if you were able to get her out of your head by now. Time is one of the biggest factors to healing (getting over her).

The only way to get back with her with long-term positive results is...
A.) Serious reconciliation with a professional (therapist or someone with a PsyD, PhD, MFT or MSW.)
B.) Many years down the road when BOTH you and her realized along the way, you two are the best fit after all.

Everyone thinks this is the easiest way to get over someone. And in reality, it's not. Well, unless she is a heartless bitch. And in that case, more the reason NOT to get back with her.


Some ways to help you get past this:
1.) Social support - Talk to friends, family, even random people.
2.) Activities - Continue exploring more self-care activities, schedule them in.
3.) Closure with her - Make a time to sit down and talk, seal the relationship, get sh*t off your chest by telling her.
4.) Another mate - Pursue with caution, best to make sure you are nearly over your ex-fiance or you'll have memories (counter transference) biting you in the ass.

 

With clinical depression, it's possible she's got a chemical imbalance in her brain. It could be more of a chemical cause than you.

If you want to make it work, tell her what your concerns are, and that she needs to see a therapist--if you're willing, propose to go with her--and then perhaps you can make it work.

 

I see what you mean. I stopped contributing to the relationship for the past 6 months after 1.5 years of her not contributing.

The weight gain has been on for the past 1.5 - 2 years.

 

You hit it on the spot. You are the best judge of whether it'll work or not. At this point, trying to get back with her is not going to work.

 

I have moments that I go through where I die to hear from her. It takes every bone in my body to not call her.

On the other hand, I almost think I need this time from her, date a little and see if we really are right for eachother..

 

So--you kept a relationship going for at least the last year, if not more?

Any issues she's developed can be directly traced back to you.

 

it's one way or the other. either go for it, or not. in between won't work.

 

And that ^^ too.. We have hit a few rough spots over the past 2 years, tried to work it out and we just came back to the same issues.

I feel that we are naturally incapatible with eachother. We are too opposite that the relationship takes an unnatural amount of work. Forcing it I guess would be the word.

With that being said, I do love her. I know she will always have a special place in my heart. She makes up a big part of my 21 year old life.