zero_to60

Our second baby is due any day now and come Thursday means that work commitments will prevent me from taking anytime off to spend with the new baby

My problem is that in my job there is no one that I can 'hand over the reigns to' at the moment without creating major hassles for the department. I am in this situation for the next 6 weeks.

My issue is that the wife appears understanding on the surface but underneath I am not so sure

Are there any women out there who could offer a perspective?

Does it look like I don't care about the new baby? Thing is while it's a special time the bills keep landing on the mat

DarioManfretti

I'm not a woman, but you might want to talk to someone at your company about some cross training so situations like this doen't happen in the future. Just think "What if something were to happen to me and I had to be in the hospital for a long period of time or what if I were to die suddenly? Would the company have to close up because I'm not there?" If it's a good company, they will survive. You should be able to be off for your family.

zero_to60

yeah I think if push really comes to shove I could sort something but I am reluctant to rock the boat at the moment....we have some redundancies in the offing and want to maintain my profile and appear to be indispensable

I am also down to provide pager support cover which will be worth an addititional 2000 USD's for next month on top of basic which I'll lose out on too

mas

I'm not a woman but here's a perspective anyways. I'm not sure about GB but here in the US the job market is really bad. If you are like most and need to work to make a living and support the family then work should be your first priority at the moment, considering the job market. If the job market is not bad and you think you won't land into a financial mess if you loose the job then family should come first.

Talk to your wife, let her know about all your concerns. If she appears understanding, maybe she IS understanding. If you were there for the first baby, she will understand even more and I'm sure in the long run everything will be fine.

BAP

If you were to go for the birth, surely the company would see that you are indispensible as there is nobody else to hand the reigns over to ! => no redundancy. Zero's a good boy !

Problem solved ! Wife happy (always the 1st priority in life !!)

zero_to60

yeah I will defo be at the birth....wild horses wouldn't stop me but the job market in my field is on the floor at the moment. If I were to lose my job now I'd be screwed. Wife would have to go back to work for sure.

The S2000 would have to go too.........

Pink Lady

OK am a chick so listen whilst I dish it out.....


Talk to your missus, explain your concerns and that you really really do sincerely want to be with her and the baby! Explain about work and that they are looking into cross-training in such difficult times and at some point in the future you will be able to take time off without having to dash back into work at a moments notice cos something has gone Pete Tong at work!

The thing about women is they all THINK wey too much and therefore if they do not receive full facts and information they make the rest up and it is usually detrimental to everything. Now add hormones gone awry in that situation too and you have a potential explosion on your hands!

I am sure she is extremely understanding as most chicks are deep down, but just tell her (sympathetically) that you do want to be with her and your newborn, you do want to help out with child number one, blah blah! Is there anyone else who can help her out?

Also would work allow you to leave early or come in later for a week or be a little flexible on hours seeing as you are legally entitled to 3 days paternity leave and you are not getting any?!?!?!?!?

And yup another women's trait is three million words when probably only a short sentance would have done.....like

tell her!!


HTH

PL x

Tonky

This stuff is the death of marriages for lots of couples. It's difficult often to strike a balance between home and family. My first wife hated the hours I worked, never accepted it, and eventually it was the "It's me or you job" ultimatum.

The second Mrs. T met me in the wee small hours lying on a pub floor, or close to it, and never had any illusions about what she was taking on. In fact she was very unsympathetic of wives who moaned about this stuff when I was still working. Unfair comparison probably, as Jan takes her job very seriously.

You should really make the effort though if you can, and your job should be able to accommodate you over this I would have thought.

zero_to60

thanks all

Yeah I think I am going to have to put my foot down and take a week off at least

I am going to run things past my boss....it's tricky though....if things go bad I may have quite a lot of time at home if you get my drift?

Thing is I am not at all a workaholic but I do like money...might have to sacrifice some I think

AquilaEagle

Paul, i dont know - no wife, no kids. Clueless. But i wish you and your wife (and new addition) all the best