I heard this one this morn...it cracked me up. I'm sure there are tons out there...post em!

Why did the Blond have sex with the Mexican man? (don't worry, this is clean)




Because her teacher told her to go home and do an essay.

 

lol

 

A blond gets caught in a horrendous hailstorm. Golf ball size hailstones render her car a mass of dents. The body shop manager decides to have some fun with her: "Want to save some money. Go home, park your car, let it sit for two hours to cool off, then blow into the exhasut pipe as hard and as long as you can. The dents will all magically pop out." Here she is, kneeling in the street, blowing into her tailpipe as hard as she can, her face bright red. Her friend, also a blonde drives by, stops, and asks her what she is doing. She tells her. Her friend replies "You dummy, you have to roll the windows up, first."

 

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?


Wave

 

I don't get it.

 

A cop pulls a blond over for speeding. He walks up to her car and asks for her driver's liscense. She has no idea what it is. He tells her it's in her purse, and she finds it. Then he asks for her registration..again doesn't know. He tells her it's in the glovebox and she finds it. He decides that she is too dumb and want to have some fun with her so he unzips his pants and she says, "OH NO, not another breathalizer test."

 

how do you drown a blonde?

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put a scratch-and-sniff on the bottom of a pool

 

2 blonds are in an elevator going to the top floor,
The elevator stops and a young guy walks in.

He pushes the button and they proceed up the building.
After he get off to the floor he needed, the 2 blonds look at each other and cant believe how fine he was.

blond 1 "He was so hot"
blond 2 " Yea, but he needs some head & shoulder."
Blond 1 " I know how to give head, but how do give shoulders!"

 

A blonde is pulled over for having a break light burned out. She questions the officer's accusation and decides to get out and look for herself. She walkes to the rear of the car, looks at the lights and says "No its not. Yes it is. No its not. Yes it is..."

 

Two blondes are having lunch together. One tells the other that she's pregnant.
The second one says to the first one: Do you think it's yours?