Cheating Would you do it?
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Joined: Jan 2009
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From: SF Bay Area
Originally Posted by 03_AP1,Nov 24 2009, 07:13 AM
She has a lot of emotions to deal with herself. She has feelings for this person...deep feelings. But I have to let her discover what she wants on her own. She's told me that she wants the family to stay together, but in her heart she's torn. So that said, I am taking this opportunity to discover myself. I need to rebuild myself. I need to be there for her, whatever that means....and whether down the road I am still her husband, or I am just a co-parent to our kids, I am going to do what it takes to make myself happy, and make her happy. If she is not happy, my kids will suffer.
Your wife and your children are really lucky to have someone like you wading through all of this with them, and don't forget to take care of yourself, too.
:internet hug:
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,662
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From: Long Beach, CA
Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Nov 24 2009, 11:19 AM
F that. Call a lawyer, clear out the bank accounts, take the kids, and gtfo.
Respect and pride are temporary. . . then her lawyer shows up, and she suddenly is entitled to half your shit. All this while the boss man is pumpin' her. . . if she wants him that badly, she can have someone else pay the bills.
I don't know what the laws are in your province (or Canuckistan in general), but 9 years here means you stand a chance of getting out (relatively) cheap.
Oh, and don't forget to ask for itemized receipts for child support expenditures.
If she's that emotionally conflicted, then marriage ain't for her.
Granted, this is my opinion. . . and I'm like Kyushin, but with fangs. I've seen this crap (and too many millions of dollars exchanged) too many times.
Respect and pride are temporary. . . then her lawyer shows up, and she suddenly is entitled to half your shit. All this while the boss man is pumpin' her. . . if she wants him that badly, she can have someone else pay the bills.
I don't know what the laws are in your province (or Canuckistan in general), but 9 years here means you stand a chance of getting out (relatively) cheap.
Oh, and don't forget to ask for itemized receipts for child support expenditures.
If she's that emotionally conflicted, then marriage ain't for her.
Granted, this is my opinion. . . and I'm like Kyushin, but with fangs. I've seen this crap (and too many millions of dollars exchanged) too many times.
Amen, dont let her bank on her F-up. The new dude can pay the bills and probably will when she screws him over too.
Id listen to 8D!
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Nov 24 2009, 11:19 AM
F that. Call a lawyer, clear out the bank accounts, take the kids, and gtfo.
Respect and pride are temporary. . . then her lawyer shows up, and she suddenly is entitled to half your shit. All this while the boss man is pumpin' her. . . if she wants him that badly, she can have someone else pay the bills.
I don't know what the laws are in your province (or Canuckistan in general), but 9 years here means you stand a chance of getting out (relatively) cheap.
Oh, and don't forget to ask for itemized receipts for child support expenditures.
If she's that emotionally conflicted, then marriage ain't for her.
Granted, this is my opinion. . . and I'm like Kyushin, but with fangs. I've seen this crap (and too many millions of dollars exchanged) too many times.
Respect and pride are temporary. . . then her lawyer shows up, and she suddenly is entitled to half your shit. All this while the boss man is pumpin' her. . . if she wants him that badly, she can have someone else pay the bills.
I don't know what the laws are in your province (or Canuckistan in general), but 9 years here means you stand a chance of getting out (relatively) cheap.
Oh, and don't forget to ask for itemized receipts for child support expenditures.
If she's that emotionally conflicted, then marriage ain't for her.
Granted, this is my opinion. . . and I'm like Kyushin, but with fangs. I've seen this crap (and too many millions of dollars exchanged) too many times.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,951
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From: Pembroke
I understand where some of you are coming from with this "get a lawyer and get out" stuff.
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,996
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From: CFL
Originally Posted by 03_AP1,Nov 24 2009, 11:56 AM
I understand where some of you are coming from with this "get a lawyer and get out" stuff.
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 64,605
Likes: 1,226
Originally Posted by 03_AP1,Nov 24 2009, 11:56 AM
I understand where some of you are coming from with this "get a lawyer and get out" stuff.
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
What you don't understand is how much I love this woman. This isn't a tit for tat fight here. I'm not out for revenge. The only thing I want is our family to be happy. I absolutely cannot be devious towards her at all. This is not a battle here.
The kids must be protected at all costs....even if it means more suffering in the short term.
I can't clear the accounts and kick her out or me leave. It just doesn't work like that.
That said, I really appreciate all of your words, whether I agree with them or not.
Cheers all.
SJ
It's very early on in the process, so take things slow. It's a super shitty situation.
There may be a time when you should talk to a lawyer, but if you're going to try to make it work, kudos to you. Plenty of people, even though they commit themselves to marriage end up bailing in situations like yours. Good luck to you.
