along similar lines, has anybody here gotten a pre-nup? or for your 2nd marriage, decided that a pre-nup is the way to go? how have you broached the subject? don't mean to hijack, I'll start a separate thread if this is too off-subject.

Evilkitty-- very sorry to hear the anguish you're going through. best of luck

 

One of my good friends is a Divorce attorney here in Orlando and I get to here some sad stories of bitter divorces and what people do when their emotions take over. It can bring the worst in out people and makes me want to never get married to be honest - the single life is just fine for me thank you I am a product of my enviorment with many divorces around me from parents,friends, siblings etc... I learned that happiness comes from within and not someone else, When you find someone you enjoy spending time with it just adds to the person you already are.
I have also learned that you are responsible for your own feelings meaning that your ex cannot make you feel anything, YOU allow your feelings to be affected by the situation. It sounds like you have moved on and that is a good thing - As many have mentioned the best thing is time and try not to have contact with him as that is just like walking up a hill of sand.

Someone gave me this after a very difficult time in my life and I still read this from time to time as a reminder of what is important to me in my life! Best of luck to you......


Mountain Dreamer Speaks~

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want
to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of
meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know
if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your
dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your
moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of
your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's
betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear
of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it,
or fix it. I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine
or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the
ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is
true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be
true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of
betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if
you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want
to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty
everyday, and if you can source your life on the edge of
the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon.

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much
money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a
night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone,
and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be
here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of
the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have
studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be
alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you
keep in the empty moments.

Oriah, "Mountain Dreamer"
Indian Elder

 

Now this is deep

 

i almost wish i would have gotten one... because it's a fight to get things that I feel are rightfully mine (mentally it is everything; reality it's only half). I payed off 60% of our debt, using the money i worked for- and let him spend his money on whatever he wanted... cars, alcohol, etc.

I paid off the living room/bedroom set loan, the engine loan for my old civic, saved enough to buy the house we own, paid off my computer, and went without so "we" could have nice things. When i left, I left him with the headache and fustration of debt- something he's never really experienced. He eventually learned to fend for himself with the bills, mortgage, etc etc. I suppose he learned I was a damn GOOD wife-and he took me for granted.

I feel good though, he wanted to quit his second job delivering pizza's, and because i took away my second income, he couldn't quit deep down it gives me joy to know he has to work like a dog- like i did - to survive