Ended a 5.5 year relationship. We were engaged.
Joined: Jan 2003
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From: Gods Speed #57 Lemons #77
Originally Posted by Dizings2k,Mar 2 2009, 07:26 PM
Long story short, I ended a 5.5 year relationship with my fiance.
She had been getting lazier and lazier around the house. She did not want to work more than 20 hours/week yet wanted all the nice things in life. She stopped cleaning up after herself, stopped putting any effort into our relationship.
I ended it saying that I have too much on my plate with work, school and us living together. I would come home from work/school and she breakfast plate, lunch plate and any condiments/utensils were still laying all over the coffee table. She would be upstairs sleeping after her hard 5 hour shift at work.
Anyway,
So it is ended, I went and bought a 2004 Suzuka.
We have been broken up for 2 weeks now. I have not pursued any other woman.
So the other night, I see her car at the bar/club (The parking lot is on the main drag here) and my dumbass decides to head home, freshen up and head up there solo.
She saw me come in, looked like a deer in headlights. We did not speak the whole night.
She starts dancing with this wigger dude. She was standing there BARELY moving her hips and so was he. She saw me looking at her, turns around and puts one arm around the guy. It ripped my heart out. That went on for maybe 10 minutes.
Later on, she is talking with the dude.. I am sitting at the bar and all of a sudden she powerwalks out of the place.
I decide to wait a few seconds and walk after her.
I get outside and I see she is hunched over in her car (crying). I walked back in the bar, ordered my last beer and then headed home.
I figured at this point she was pretty depressed about our situation. I was ready to call her bawling and professing my love for her even though our relationship was garbage and I know it will never work. I was severely depressed.
So the next night, Im on my way back from my buddies house when I see her car at the bar AGAIN!
My questions:
Is she at the bar just to get some attention to make herself feel better?
Why would she have stormed out like that?
WHY oh why can I NOT get her out of my head?? I keep having these urges to call her and try to work things out.
How could she just hang on some other dude after only 2 weeks of being broken up? I mean.. we rented a house together, we have our 2 dogs, pictures, memories, possesions.. We have a little family here. How could she just forget about all that?
I need help getting through this.. Please offer some insight. My mind just falls into depression randomly and I want to call her.
She had been getting lazier and lazier around the house. She did not want to work more than 20 hours/week yet wanted all the nice things in life. She stopped cleaning up after herself, stopped putting any effort into our relationship.
I ended it saying that I have too much on my plate with work, school and us living together. I would come home from work/school and she breakfast plate, lunch plate and any condiments/utensils were still laying all over the coffee table. She would be upstairs sleeping after her hard 5 hour shift at work.
Anyway,
So it is ended, I went and bought a 2004 Suzuka.
We have been broken up for 2 weeks now. I have not pursued any other woman.
So the other night, I see her car at the bar/club (The parking lot is on the main drag here) and my dumbass decides to head home, freshen up and head up there solo.
She saw me come in, looked like a deer in headlights. We did not speak the whole night.
She starts dancing with this wigger dude. She was standing there BARELY moving her hips and so was he. She saw me looking at her, turns around and puts one arm around the guy. It ripped my heart out. That went on for maybe 10 minutes.
Later on, she is talking with the dude.. I am sitting at the bar and all of a sudden she powerwalks out of the place.
I decide to wait a few seconds and walk after her.
I get outside and I see she is hunched over in her car (crying). I walked back in the bar, ordered my last beer and then headed home.
I figured at this point she was pretty depressed about our situation. I was ready to call her bawling and professing my love for her even though our relationship was garbage and I know it will never work. I was severely depressed.
So the next night, Im on my way back from my buddies house when I see her car at the bar AGAIN!
My questions:
Is she at the bar just to get some attention to make herself feel better?
Why would she have stormed out like that?
WHY oh why can I NOT get her out of my head?? I keep having these urges to call her and try to work things out.
How could she just hang on some other dude after only 2 weeks of being broken up? I mean.. we rented a house together, we have our 2 dogs, pictures, memories, possesions.. We have a little family here. How could she just forget about all that?
I need help getting through this.. Please offer some insight. My mind just falls into depression randomly and I want to call her.
Seriously, you just broke up so expect to feel bad for a while. It helps to just go out and start living your life again, go to the gym, call up your buddies and go sking, biking, drinking whatever. Try not to think about the past too much, look at this as an opportunity to start over.
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by Dizings2k,Mar 3 2009, 11:03 AM
I will always love her, I do love her. I do not want anything bad to happen to her. I just dont know if I want to risk wasting more of our time trying to work things out.
What if she is clinically depressed? What if she gets on medication we could have a happy, healthy, flourishing relationship?
These are my concerns when thinking about cutting ties.
What if she is clinically depressed? What if she gets on medication we could have a happy, healthy, flourishing relationship?
These are my concerns when thinking about cutting ties.
However, there is a HUGE difference between supporting an issue and being complicit in her (probably self-destructive) gestalt.
Hanging out with someone who is indecisive is one thing, condoning the behavior by living with her and being romantically involved is something else.
You have the right to self-preservation. You have the right to preserve your sanity. It's yours to loose. . . and, IMHO, you have little left to gain with her. . . do the math.
God willing.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,140
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From: Johnstown, PA
Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Mar 3 2009, 02:04 PM
She is an attention 
of the worst kind.
So, here's what's going on (trust me, I've sailed the FAILBOAT so many times, the least I can do is have the rest of y'all not F up like I have):
As far as what to expect, don't expect anything that is worth your time. You're the boss, grow a pair and call some shots. She's at your house.
She's coming over on the weekend to make sure you're not out banging anybody else. Your counter-play should be to get her kicked out of the place before 5pm. You don't have to go out, but you DO have to make sure she thinks you're banging other chicks. Make plans for the evening. Even if it's hanging out in your sweats playing Madden, it's still plans. . .
Make sure all of her shit is packed into boxes.
The bubbly attitude is a complete fucking facade. Don't buy into it. Ice her. Don't be a complete dick, but don't be "nice." Let her see the dogs for two hours. . . while you go play video games, watch the game, whatever. . . she's there to give the dogs attention, and to get attention from you. She can spend time with the dogs. . .not you. Do it with a smile. Use short sentences. Don't forget to offer her water. Just water. . .
If she starts begging for attention, she'll start straddling your junk. Do your thing, and kick her out before dinner.
Your call, but we all see the car purchase for what it is; the only person you're fooling is yourself.
Is it really yours? Is it the place you're reasonably happy with? Get all of her shit out now (if it isn't out already).
Oh, and. . . if you don't mind my asking, how long have you been paying the rent? How much of it was she paying?
of the worst kind.So, here's what's going on (trust me, I've sailed the FAILBOAT so many times, the least I can do is have the rest of y'all not F up like I have):
As far as what to expect, don't expect anything that is worth your time. You're the boss, grow a pair and call some shots. She's at your house.
She's coming over on the weekend to make sure you're not out banging anybody else. Your counter-play should be to get her kicked out of the place before 5pm. You don't have to go out, but you DO have to make sure she thinks you're banging other chicks. Make plans for the evening. Even if it's hanging out in your sweats playing Madden, it's still plans. . .
Make sure all of her shit is packed into boxes.
The bubbly attitude is a complete fucking facade. Don't buy into it. Ice her. Don't be a complete dick, but don't be "nice." Let her see the dogs for two hours. . . while you go play video games, watch the game, whatever. . . she's there to give the dogs attention, and to get attention from you. She can spend time with the dogs. . .not you. Do it with a smile. Use short sentences. Don't forget to offer her water. Just water. . .
If she starts begging for attention, she'll start straddling your junk. Do your thing, and kick her out before dinner.
Your call, but we all see the car purchase for what it is; the only person you're fooling is yourself.
Is it really yours? Is it the place you're reasonably happy with? Get all of her shit out now (if it isn't out already).
Oh, and. . . if you don't mind my asking, how long have you been paying the rent? How much of it was she paying?
We split the rent. However we did have a joint checking account for the past 2 years.
Why should I sell my car again? What am I not seeing here as the reason for my purchase?
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Mar 3 2009, 01:27 PM
To answer your questions:
1. Yes, and she's how old?
2. Because she's a chick. Rather than rationally deal with a situation and accept her loss, she needs to have the loss demonstrated to her (usually with someone else's penis. Ideally, mine).
Apparently you're a chick too, because rather than accepting it, you went to chase her down. I've seen Emo guys make smarter moves.
3. Because you were with her for 5 years. We'll get to that horseshit in a moment.
4. How can she? It's easy. She has a vagina. Rather than accepting pain, shes going to go accept cock (once again, ideally mine).
All that said, let's do some math:
According to your profile, you're 22, and you were with her for 5 and a half years. Which means, you met her when you were ~17 years old. STRIKE 1
You rented a house together. Were both your names on the lease? If so, did you even begin to understand that you're fiscally liable if she flaked? Did you really want that? STRIKE 2
You have two dogs with her. Who's getting the dogs now? Happy about that? Common posessions? STRIKE 3
You're out. You're hopeless.
My advice? Sell the Suzuka as penance. Sell the CBR as well. Go buy a Civic, save some money, go to school (if you're not there already), and get your life in order. You lost a battle with women. Get smart, and go win the war. You'll know you won when you testicles finally grow back, and you're getting more ass than a toilet seat.
DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN. If she needs to talk to you, just say, "You made your choice at the club. I'm making my choice right now. Bye."
If you need revenge, go bang her best friend.
1. Yes, and she's how old?
2. Because she's a chick. Rather than rationally deal with a situation and accept her loss, she needs to have the loss demonstrated to her (usually with someone else's penis. Ideally, mine).
Apparently you're a chick too, because rather than accepting it, you went to chase her down. I've seen Emo guys make smarter moves.
3. Because you were with her for 5 years. We'll get to that horseshit in a moment.
4. How can she? It's easy. She has a vagina. Rather than accepting pain, shes going to go accept cock (once again, ideally mine).
All that said, let's do some math:
According to your profile, you're 22, and you were with her for 5 and a half years. Which means, you met her when you were ~17 years old. STRIKE 1
You rented a house together. Were both your names on the lease? If so, did you even begin to understand that you're fiscally liable if she flaked? Did you really want that? STRIKE 2
You have two dogs with her. Who's getting the dogs now? Happy about that? Common posessions? STRIKE 3
You're out. You're hopeless.
My advice? Sell the Suzuka as penance. Sell the CBR as well. Go buy a Civic, save some money, go to school (if you're not there already), and get your life in order. You lost a battle with women. Get smart, and go win the war. You'll know you won when you testicles finally grow back, and you're getting more ass than a toilet seat.
DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN. If she needs to talk to you, just say, "You made your choice at the club. I'm making my choice right now. Bye."
If you need revenge, go bang her best friend.
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by Dizings2k,Mar 3 2009, 11:16 AM
Why should I sell my car again? What am I not seeing here as the reason for my purchase?
The reason, as I see it, is that you're trying to "get your groove back," like you're some mid-life-crisis survivor buying a Porsche and cruising the college campus. Stop it.
Lastly, as zdave noted. . . it is Suzuka.
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Joined: Nov 2008
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From: Toronto
you want to feel sorry and sad and sob to yourself? go to the movie store, pick up jerry maguire, alfie, and witness what stupid things guys do for women. Then, after you've watched both movies and your done realizing what its like to have a vagina, put your balls back on and find a chick -- any chick in the world. she can have tits on her back, 5 eyes and a parrot, it doesnt matter. and have sex with her till shes black and blue (chris brown that girl) then, kick her out, make yourself some food and as you look around at the messy house and what just took place, embrace your new lifestyle. Feel what its like to be a free man. you can have any woman you want, you can have two or three if you wanted. live it up.
but in all honesty, if you invite the ex over, and you have sex with her, your done man. your life is over. actually if she comes over period, your life is over. give her a dog if she wants one, you have two anyway. dont let her come visit and dont put up with her shit if you dont like it. there sooo many other girls in the world and your complaining about how ONE does not fit into your qualities? the world is bigger then your town, go explore it. find someone who does like to clean and will clean after you, and take care of you..... then give her your balls. not anyone else.
but in all honesty, if you invite the ex over, and you have sex with her, your done man. your life is over. actually if she comes over period, your life is over. give her a dog if she wants one, you have two anyway. dont let her come visit and dont put up with her shit if you dont like it. there sooo many other girls in the world and your complaining about how ONE does not fit into your qualities? the world is bigger then your town, go explore it. find someone who does like to clean and will clean after you, and take care of you..... then give her your balls. not anyone else.
My suzuka.... 
