my neighbor died a couple days ago of cancer. the family (widow) hasn't officially told me, but heard it from another neighbor. question: what am i supposed to do? act like i dont know till they talk to me, bring them food, flowers, cliche stuff? or is there a better idea?

thanks

 

Baked goods

 

I'd suggest that you let the widow know that you heard of her husband's passing, and extend your condolences. A gift is up to you. Some people would make a contribution to cancer research; others would consider that tacky. Some would offer to help her in whatever way they could; others would not.

Whatever you do, please do it with sincerity.

Oh, and it's "etiquette".

 

When my grandfather died, we've had people come over who we didn't tell to, and they bought us food. Some of them would say sorry about your grandfather, I head from ...

I say you make some food.

 

Just say your sorry about his passing and if i can help you anyway let me know. Food is the usual offering.

 

Besides, if he just died, the family has a lot of things to do, and probably haven't found the time to call everyone they know to inform them.

 

Good advice!

 

Food on the doorstep and a condolence card in the mailbox. They have other things to do right now. A seamless and unobtrusive "thinking of you, let me know if I can help" is appropriate unless you were very close (and I'm assuming they would have told you if you were).