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For every husband: five rules to avoid being killed by wives

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Old Jun 1, 2002 | 09:44 AM
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Default For every husband: five rules to avoid being killed by wives

I apologize for a repost of this is a repost.

1. Don't buy high-priced insurance packages. Hiromi Ikeuchi, who works at an institute in Tokyo that deals with domestic problems, said, "Wives usually worry about what will happen to them financially after their husbands are gone. If killing husbands solved this problem, some wives actually do it. Some wives have actually come to see me to consult on such a thing."

2. Don't get into debt. "If you owe money, it's better to be jointly in debt with your spouse," said Ikeuchi.

3. Take note if your wife suddenly starts using different or more seasonings. According to Ikeuchi, one housewife actually told her that she had started giving her husband extra salt and soy source in the hope that it would make him ill and eventually kill him.

4. Pay special attention to curry. "The spicy flavor hides the strong odor of most poisons," explained Keiichi Tsuneishi, a biochemical professor at Kanagawa university.

5. Don't neglect having sex with your wife. "No matter how old he is, a husband should pay attention to his wife's sexual needs," advised Ikeuchi. "He also needs to listen to his wife and talk with her if she has any complaints."

http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=shukan&id=113
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Old Jun 1, 2002 | 12:39 PM
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I have only 1 rule: If in doubt, kill her first!
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Old Jun 1, 2002 | 06:41 PM
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Very Funny
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Old Jun 4, 2002 | 12:12 PM
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by xviper
[B]I have only 1 rule:
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Old Jun 4, 2002 | 12:15 PM
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6) Get rid of the knives!!!!

Well I guess I'll just have to go home now and tell my wife that we need to have sex. My life depends on it!
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Old Jun 5, 2002 | 09:26 AM
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sh1t - I'm in trouble
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Old Jun 6, 2002 | 11:43 AM
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Hey - you wanna know the real rules - married or not?? Check the following:

THE RULES

1. The FEMALE (also known as "SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED"):
(a) Always makes The Rules; and
(b) Is the only one who may interpret The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change by the FEMALE at any time and without prior notice to the Male (also known as "HE WHO MAY BE IGNORED").

3. No Male is permitted to know The Rules.

4. If the FEMALE suspects that the Male knows any of The Rules, she immediately may change some or all of The Rules, retroactively, if she so desires.

5. The FEMALE is NEVER wrong and the Male is ALWAYS wrong, unless he is agreeing with the FEMALE and even then he is wrong if she says so.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male said or did wrong - inexcusably and horribly wrong!

7. If Rule No. 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding and the FEMALE is under no obligation to explain what the Male did wrong.

8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time, with or without cause.

9. The Male may NEVER change his mind without the prior written consent of the FEMALE (and she may change her mind about that retroactively).

10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset:
(a) at any time whatsoever;
(b) for any reason whatsoever; or
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Old Jun 6, 2002 | 11:54 AM
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Judging by some of the comments you people have made on this thread, I think that you also require some education on the general rules of the game of romance. See following:

THE GAME OF ROMANCE: HOW TO KEEP SCORE
(Version 3.0, as of 8/13/99; liberally added to by JMN)

Below are excerpts about how guys can score points with their gals (or lose them) taken (very liberally) from "The Game of Romance: How to Keep Score," along with some things that are just expected of guys, thus having a score of zero:

Simple Duties
------------
* You make sure there's plenty of gas in the car +1
* You make sure there are barely enough fumes in the car to make it to the nearest gas station -1
* You take out the recyclables and stack them neatly by the curb +1
* You take out the recyclables at 4:30 pm, just as the truck pulls away -1
* You load the dishwasher whenever you dirty a dish +1
* You leave them under the bed -5
* She says she is out of something she needs and you offer to go to the store for her: +5
* You find out that what she wants are spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings but you head out to the store anyway: +15
* But instead return with beer: -5
* But instead return with beer-breath four hours later: -10
* But instead return with beer-breath four hours later, smelling of cheap perfume and with provocatively decorated matches from the
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