Flatulence
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 109,425
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by NNY S2k,Dec 21 2007, 03:11 AM
A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song..
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - don't it?
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song..
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Kinda brings a tear to your eye - don't it?
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,506
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From: Luke AFB, AZ
Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Dec 20 2007, 06:43 PM
You've got bad ass luck. Luckily, with a good diet, and knowing (generally) what sets me off, I know when I've got a brownie baking, and let it rip. . . ideally in somebody else's cube (or room). 
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 347
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From: Jacksonville, Florida
lol I used to get war stories from a buddy of mine who was korean and ate kimchee religiously.
Even though he ate it all his life he still tossed out some nasty bombs, including once in his office elevator with 2 fine looking ladies. He hauled ass outta that elevator on the wrong floor and took the stairs hoping nobody would make him as the shooter.
Even though he ate it all his life he still tossed out some nasty bombs, including once in his office elevator with 2 fine looking ladies. He hauled ass outta that elevator on the wrong floor and took the stairs hoping nobody would make him as the shooter.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 9,409
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From: Calgary
Happens at my office all the time. We've collectively decided to embrace it and drop them all off in my buddy John's office. He takes it well, he just winces and goes "Aww maaan! That's nice."
This is why we don't hire hot girls in my office. We don't want to stop being guys. We only hire girls who put up with us without filing reports.
This is why we don't hire hot girls in my office. We don't want to stop being guys. We only hire girls who put up with us without filing reports.
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Posts: 1,506
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From: Luke AFB, AZ
One of my friends told me that he knew this guy that supposedly lit his fart on fire and it crawled back and sealed his a-hole shut. The dude had to get it surgically opened. I'm not sure if its a true story or not but if it is then damn that is funny
Joined: Aug 2007
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,057
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From: nc
hahaha one night the g/f and i were starting a movie. i got up from the couch to go to the kitchen because a. i needed something to drink and b. my stomach hurt like hell. apparently i should have waited around in the kitchen a little longer because a few seconds after i sat back down she said "oh my GOD put your shoes back on your feet smell like ASS!"
good times, good times
good times, good times