Need to ask for some advice from all of yall. Heres the story

This girl I like have been friends with me for many years. She recently moved back to where I live and so we hung out a few times. Found her to be quite attractive and wanted to take it tot eh next level. Everytime we go out, she is very very flirty with me. Hold hands, arm around...and so on. I was going to bust out a move but one day she brought up her old boyfriend in which they broke up with a few months back. Howver, she says she still has feeling for him and misses him yada yada yada. So I was taken a back and did not make a move. Well, I had to go back to college in a another city but we speak on the computer. Rather than waiting to come back and find out if she has feelings, I basically laid it out to her and she said she like me but only as a friend and that she still has feelingings for her ex.

Well, I just hanged out with her a few times over the vacation and she continues to be very very flirty. Asking me to come over and walk on the beach with her and being very very touchy (holds me, rubs my head, leg, ect.) with me. This time however, I played my game differently and acted just as friends to see where it goes. It seems that she digs me even more when I do that since I am not giving her that extra attention I was before. Well all my friends say that hse has it bad for me.

So I am just confused now. She throws rediculous signs at me, acts extremely flirty, all my friends say she digs me yet she says she only like me as a friend. On top of that she stillhas feelings for her ex, so technically shes avail. I am confused and need some advice. Thanks and sorry for the long post.

 

Sounds to me like she is looking for attention. Most likely you aren't seeing this because you are really into this girl. If she is being flirty, make a move and try to kiss her. The kiss will tell you alot, 1.) If the kiss is passionate then she might dig you, 2.) If the kiss is decent, she might dig you a little bit, 3.) If she pulls away, then you have no chance with her and you are wasting your time. Either way, you are acting like a friend to her, not a love interest. Don't talk to her everyday, because women have their GIRL friends to talk to everyday. If she doesnt respond to your move, then its not going to happen, no big deal, and let her go.

P.S. - When a girl talks about her EX and says she still has feelings for him---- that is women-talk for "I dont want to get serious right now". At this point, the only thing this girl is possibly looking for is------attention and MAYBE something physical, i doubt it though.

 

Dude, you're beginning to learn how successful playing the 'as shole game' can be...It is probably the best game any person can use and be sucessful. This is because girls dont want you to know this, but they want what they can't have. And acting like you are uninterested and giving her confusing signs only sparks her curiosity. It also makes it a challenge for them. This is because most respectable women don't like guys who are pushovers. They want a guy who thinks for himself and won't become overobsessive. Just be warned that the as shole game shouldnt overused--some girls dont like guys who are just flat out cocky and jerks. But on the other hand, girls dont like meeting guys who would instantly drop everything and become their bitches. Anyways--keep doing what you are doing because it seems to work.

 

She seems like she doesn't want to get serious, but she might be down with the physical part of the relationship. Get her drunk and get busy with her. No one gets hurt, everybody happy!

One more trick. Pretend going out with another girl and turn her down a couple times. Or let her friends know you are hanging out with some other women. Women like to have something they can't have.

The key is strategy. Feelings has no part in it. It only complicates matters for you.

 

move on don't waste your time. keep her as a friend.

 

[QUOTE=mvf4s,Dec 1 2004, 03:39 PM] move on don't waste your time.

 

Its tough to go from liking someone to just being their friend. If its not what YOU want, let her go and save the trouble.

 

[RANT]

DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP!

Can we create a separate relationship forum so people who know better than to take relationship advice off the Internet don't have to see these posts?

[/RANT]

(flamesuit donned)

 

The fact of the matter that everone seems to miss is that our friend really likes this girl.....alot and she is not returning the feeling.

From what you describe, it sounds like she is using you .....

Sorry to tell you this but it could go either way, but you really have two options.
1. Let her continue to run the show-and don't complain
2. Stop seeing her

And let me tell you....I have lots of firends that are girls.....aside from a welcome hug....I don't "rub" them. Dude this chick is playing BS games........

Good luck.....