How Bad A Writer Are You?
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From: Yorba Linda, CA
How Bad A Writer Are You?
Try your hand at the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - the BLFC.
You know Edward George Bulwer-Lytton: he's the author of the 1830 novel Paul Clifford that begins "It was a dark and stormy night."
The contest asks prospective authors to write the opening sentence to a novel - the worse the better.
Here are a couple of Grand Prize Winners:
[B][I]The countdown had stalled at T minus 69 seconds when Desir
You know Edward George Bulwer-Lytton: he's the author of the 1830 novel Paul Clifford that begins "It was a dark and stormy night."
The contest asks prospective authors to write the opening sentence to a novel - the worse the better.
Here are a couple of Grand Prize Winners:
[B][I]The countdown had stalled at T minus 69 seconds when Desir
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Joined: Feb 2005
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From: Berwick, LA
Here's my favorites from trygve.com
With the sickening thud that a cloth sack filled with rabbit entrails makes when colliding with a concrete wall, the sack of rabbit entrails smashed into the wall behind me.
Professor Weigenburger sighed, knowing that without the alien mother to care for the last surviving egg of her once-proud species, the egg would surely die; still, he thought, greasing the fry-pan, it certainly was going to be an interesting breakfast.
"Cobalt blue is such a nice color, don't you think?" I asked; but, since I was talking to a gas pump, I received no answer.
The name of Emilio Ramsbladder would go down in history as the greatest experimentalist in the history of genetic research, but the irony was that his first great discovery was really due to the poor spelling of one of his assistants; because of a misspelled label, Emilio selected the wrong jar and, using the most sophisticated recombinant DNA techniques of the time, created a new organism--half peach and half Levi's denim jeans--that was to revolutionize the world of genetic research: yes, Emilio Ramsbladder had created the fruit fly.
more here
http://www.trygve.com/turgid_prose.html
With the sickening thud that a cloth sack filled with rabbit entrails makes when colliding with a concrete wall, the sack of rabbit entrails smashed into the wall behind me.
Professor Weigenburger sighed, knowing that without the alien mother to care for the last surviving egg of her once-proud species, the egg would surely die; still, he thought, greasing the fry-pan, it certainly was going to be an interesting breakfast.
"Cobalt blue is such a nice color, don't you think?" I asked; but, since I was talking to a gas pump, I received no answer.
The name of Emilio Ramsbladder would go down in history as the greatest experimentalist in the history of genetic research, but the irony was that his first great discovery was really due to the poor spelling of one of his assistants; because of a misspelled label, Emilio selected the wrong jar and, using the most sophisticated recombinant DNA techniques of the time, created a new organism--half peach and half Levi's denim jeans--that was to revolutionize the world of genetic research: yes, Emilio Ramsbladder had created the fruit fly.
more here
http://www.trygve.com/turgid_prose.html
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,592
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From: Yorba Linda, CA
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Dan McKay, 2005
Dan McKay, 2005
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