I would say at this moment, I am a 4 or 5 out of 10. Reason being(all up to me of course) I have been out of work for about 4 months. I still live at home with my parents. Thats the only way anyone could survive that long without a job. I had saved a nice amount of money before getting laid off, I still pay my own bills, take care of myself and all that jive. But I don't feel any better about anything.

Several weeks ago I had decided I was done with life. I am not going to commit suicide or anything like that. I know how stupid that is. I was just sick of life, I didnt feel like I was going to make anything of myself. Mainly I didnt know what I wanted to do(job or future plans), and it was eating me a live. So I was looking at ways to get off this earth where my family could benefit. Like Selling my organs, anything to that effect. However that is not allowed in the United States, so I thought to myself, I guess I am going to have to make something of this life.

Now the reason I felt I didnt want to be on this planet anymore, I didnt want the planet to have anymore of my type of genes running around to create problems for someone else. Logically, get rid the the animal before he becomes a monster, or creates more.

I do not really feel depressed. I am sure there is part of me that I is. However I still go to the gym take care of myself, eat well, have good habits, I dont resort to drugs in anyway.

All of these Feeling and emotions I have I know are all because of what I choose. I do want to make things better, but I am not sure what will make me the most happy, So I hadnt taken any steps to do so.

My life is completely open, and for me knowing that makes me excited. But when there are so many options of what to do in your own life, it makes it difficult to just jump onto any wagon and go for it. Whether job or relationship, college, anything.

More just terrified of being unhappy. I dont want to die and say, "ohp, glad thats over." I would like to look back and say, "Man, that was freakin sweet, Lets do it again."

If I died tomorrow, I would just say"ohp, glad thats over"

I know there are many things I can be thankful for, and I should, maybe I just take things for granted. I just always want more out of life, or I know there is more, I just dont know how to experience it.

Just young and confused is as simple as I can put it.

 

this thread looks like it went from the title question to, "are you happy?".

original question:
i'm happy when i'm doing new things, or even just when i break up the monotony. traveling and playing sports never fail. drinking with friends is usually a fun time, but not always. i enjoy driving my car. psychologically, i'm a "life is too short, don't sweat the small stuff" kind of person.

am i happy?
well, i've thought about this for the past few years...and not really. i don't really have any good reason...great friends, stable job/pay, great family. but i feel like my life has stagnated since i graduated college. i hate being at work, and this is definitely not what i want to do. for life in general, it's the same week in and week out. work, sleep, and tv during then week...then get wasted on the weekends. well, other stuff too, but you get the idea. what do i want? i have no idea. i'm still planning on traveling for an extended amount of time, hopefully i'll figure it out then.

oh, i'm 24. 25 in a week. quarter-life crisis? haha.

 

9keveryday, props for sharing. thnks. in many ways, i think i can understand what you mean when you say that you're done with this world. despite what many movies tell us, the world is really crappy place. if you're on the right side of the fence like plyrs than it can all be giggles and looking down at poor other people. if you're not lucky, you can realize that this can be a rough place. rougher in other countries than here, but still tough. i'm not gona say hang in there and make something of yourself. i know some people who honestly might be better off dead.

rustywave, i also know people like what you described. that sounds like a chemical thing that you might not have control over.

not sure what the conclusion is here, but hopefully heaven,nirvana or whatever is better than this existence.

 

The world isn't such a bad place. This is true that we live in scary times, but most of us really don't have it that bad. I thank God everyday for what I have and what he has given me. He has given me everything I have asked for in my life and gotten me through rough patches. And, yes...heaven will certainly be better then this existence.

 

 

I worry too much. A book from Dale Carnegie presented some good insight about worry and happiness. There is just too much to explain here. There are many stories and case studies he's encountered in life. It's a good book and a real easy read.

Something I learned from it was that our life is what our thoughts make it. Here are a few quotes from Marcus Aurelius (Roman Emperor at the time). I got these from the book. I'm trying to live by them.


"Your life is what your thoughts make it."


"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature."


"You are not what you think, but what you think, ... you are."

Losing your leg in an accident can be interpreted by yourself as bad because you can't do many things anymore- or great, because now you get to sit in a wheelchair and roll everywhere. You get to park near the entrance of a store and you get reserved seating at events. Plus, you didn't die.. that's great. You're still alive.

 

ya i'd also probably say that since i drive an ap2 i'm about a 9 out of 10 on the happiness scale

if i drove an ap1 i'd prob be about a 3 or a 4... so i can see where most are coming from.

 

huh?, driving an ap1 would bring your happiness level down 6-7 notches? ..weird, yo

 

eh, i dunno about that...it's not like i'm chronically super depressed or anything. it's more like i'm bored with how things are going now, and i know (hope?) there's something out there that's better/more meaningful, and i just hope i can find it.

 

jokes ... somehow had to turn it into an ap2 vs ap1 thread