Been having problems with my gf I have been seeing for 2 years. She says that she knows I am the "one" for her, and it tears her up when I tell her that I'm not sure if she is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is such a problem for her that it could end our relationship.

She's 22 and I'm 26...and It basically comes down to the fact that she doesn't want to waste her time if I'm not going to end up marrying her.

I'm not quite sure I can tell her she is, and I can't say she isn't. Any advice?

 

man, i really feel for you. this has happened to me twice already. let me think how to respond and i'll post what i can later. i gotta get the memories back and think. hang in there buddy!

 

Girls always pull this bullshit. There is no such thing as "the one." There are people you get along with and are happy with for a very long time. If things change for the worse, though, you won't be happy anymore, and loyalty is just a form of self-punishment. I will never tell a girl she's "the one" simply because I don't believe in such things.

If she wants to get married so badly, let her go marry someone else. When she gets divorced in two years, she'll learn her lessons. I've never understood why girls think relationships that don't wind up as marriages are a "waste of time." Relationships are wonderful in their own right, no matter how they wind up.

- Warren

 

Sounds like she isn't. You got to be cruel to be kind. Just tell her. She has got a point. She needs to know where she stands.

You need to stand back and have a good like at what you want at this point. It's all to easy to get complacent in a long term relationship, and just go with the flow. You end up walking up the aisle thinking "Shit, how did we get here??" Selfishness or guilt has nothing to do with what you decide, once there are kids or marriage involved you've made a serious commitment that you may deeply regret. Get away on your own for a while and think it through.

 

Sounds like good advice...thanks.

 

It's impossible to know if the girl is the right one. ONCE YOU MARRIED THEM, I THINK THEIR PERSONALLY CHANGES.

 

If you have any trouble deciding if she is the one, then she is not it!

I had a steady longterm girlfriend for about 3 years I thought I would probably marry some day. Then one night I was walking down a hall at USC with one of my buddies and this girl passed us going the other direction. I knew right then and there she was the "ONE". Dropped the old girlfriend like a bad habit and spent every minute making the new girl my wife. Worked out great, dated /lived together for 4 years and been married over 6 years so far.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TrojanHorse
[B]If you have any trouble deciding if she is the one, then she is not it!

 

If there is doubt, there is no doubt

 

I agree. You need time to think for yourself. But my guess she isn't the one for you if you are second guessing.