Okay, well there's this girl that I really like, and want to ask her out, but she has had a boyfriend for 4 years (who the hell has a boyfriend for 4 years?!), and we have been friends/acquaintances, but I just feel that I need the oppurtunity to know her better just to see if something is there... Now usually I let the woman pursue me, and that strategy has worked many times before because I am the shy type to begin with... but obviously she's not gonna "seem" to take interest in me because of her involvement with her current boyfriend... So now I'm confused, at a crossroads, I can risk ruining what
"friendly" relationship we have now, and kinda profess that I am interested in her, and how she felt about it... or I can wait till they break up (but that can take forever of course), and get her on the rebound , or I can do nothing at all, and see how everything plays out before I make any rash decisions... I don't think that she knows that I am interested in her on another level then just friendship, so how do I get her to realize that I like her without having her boyfriend (who is a pretty large fellow ) up my ass...???

 

Dude if you really like this girl and want more then friendship
tell her how you feel the worst that could happen is ... she wont
talk to you any more but if she does that then she's most likely a biatch!!!!
Life is too short roll the dice!!!! And let her know how you feel at least
you keep wondering ... What If ???

Just my $.02

 

Like Jacko said,

Which do you value more the chance at being with her or her friendship.

After you figure that out then you can
1.Tell her and she goes for you
2. Tell her and she tells you thanks but lets be friends
3. Tell her and tells you to stay away

Knowing full well that number 2 will most likely turn to number 3, or you won't feel comfortable around her.

4. Don't tell her and remain friends.
5. Find a different girl there's about 2.5 billion around.

 

ya, that's exactly what I was thinking, and what I want to do, but I'm just afraid since she knows that I know she has a boyfriend, she will feel offended by me asking her out knowing full well that she is already in a relationship that has been going on for a few years, that's the only problem.

 

first of all, i think one of things to think about is what you really want out of this. probably to be hang out with a cool girl and have her reciprocate your feelings, right?

secondly, what do you expect from her after you tell her you are interested? do you expect that she will break up with her current boyfriend and turn to you?

lastly, are you aware of any problems in her relationship with her boyfriend?

if your answer to all of the above questions is "YES", then go for it!

you just have to be very clear of how you feel, what you want, and what her situation is. otherwise, you run the risk of losing a very special girl in your life.

i believe timing is everything. i've been in several complicated relationship situations myself. she may be "the one" for you but maybe not at this point in your lives.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by cykogirl
[B]first of all, i think one of things to think about is what you really want out of this.

 

sorry ...i did a little editing on my original response...

 

So - how did it turn out?

 

well, I dunno, I just posted like 10 minutes ago lol, but I'll keep you updated the next time I see her, still contemplating...

 

If you really like her, tell her before she marries the guy..
Trust me, it gets real complicated after that.