One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Olg Bushmills Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "Tis truly fantastic!" At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked "And how long has it been since you played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too?"

 

nice

 

hahahha good one

 

 

I only know three irish jokes.....


Whats the differnce between an irish wedding and an irish funeral?
One less drunk.

What's an irish seven course meal?
A six pack and a potato.


And lastly.......

Shamus is on his death bed. He is lying in the hosptial and has just a couple days left. He sends for his best friend Liam to be by his side.

"Liam" Shamus says "You have been a good friend me whole life. Always by my side, helping me when I was down, lifting me spirits. I wanted to thank you and to ask you one last favor."

"What is it Shamus? You know I would do anyting for you." said Liam.

"Well Liam, on the night stand you will find a bottle of 30 year old whiskey that I had been saving for a special occasion. When I am gone I want you to take it to my grave and pour it into the dirt so that it will sooth my bones for all eternity." said Shamus.

"Of course!" Liam exclaimed "You know I would do you such a favor, but you know I would like to ask something of you. Do you mind if I strain it through my kidneys first?"

 

Hey wtf, im Irish...

And about pissed myself laughin, keep the great jokes commin!