1) It may be better for you and some others but it can't be easier to maintain and in my case at least, would not be any healthier.

2) We still have plenty of autonomy, just because we share everything doesn't mean we don't buy what we want.

3) I think that there are plenty of other issues that are higher up on the list.

 

Very interesting topic. Im thinking about having joint accounts and separate accounts once I'm married.

I think the independence issue is a big factor whether or not I make more money or not. I think the trust should be there to trust eachother to NOT go blow all of your own money on say a turbo kit etc... But hey if you both have "spend" accounts aside from the accounts that pay mortgage, cars, bills, and savings, then its a lot easier to just go out and buy a new set of rims without having to ASK for approval, as long as you both have financial responsibility in the sense that youre not going to go and blow your entire paycheck expecting your wife to pickup the months expenses. But really every relationship is differenct and with that I think there is no right or wrong way to do it.

Its interesting to hear different peoples responses and reasonings for doing so.

It really could go both ways. If you are both financially responsible it might be better to have one account, where everything is clearly visible. But on the same note if you are really financially responsible then it should be fine to have separate accounts as well, and might help to track who is spending how much on what, it would make things easier for budgeting etc..

But there would have to be a definite open communication policy going on, so you don't end up trying to hide that 3K hardtop you just bought. That kind of stuff will get you in trouble in almost any wife's book. Even if you have the money to burn. I think as long as the trust is there, it can work both ways just fine. Each has its pros and cons.

 

Quicken It just downloads the credit card bills and categorizes it somewhat. You don't want to see our CC Bills, they are paid off every month but I have one framed for $40K+

 

I spent $73k on my chase card last year.

that was $730 of free toys r us crap for my kids and neighbors.... (1% free toys).

 

This sounds like a situation wherein:

1. If these "bitches" were out to be golddiggers, I can see why they'd declare sour grapes. They wound up marrying "down."

2. Many (not all) women act as if once married, "What's your's is mine, and what's mine is mine." If your SO doesn't think this way, count your lucky stars. The problem is, settlement procedures in many (read: most) states error on that notion. The laws governing marriage in this country tend to be based on antiquainted notions of gender roles. I'm not having any part of it until after the 10 year mark of my marriage, where the state declares us married by common law, and everything goes to community property anyway.

3. Just outta curiosity, do either of these women (your co-workers) have hyphenated last names?

 

Hehe, thats ka-ka -KRAZY!

40K on one bill. sick. You ballers.

Although I've gotten probably spent upwards of $25k on my Aadvantage card this past year. I'm 7,500 miles away from 2 tickets to Hawaii from Chicago.

 

Bills and mortgage get shared, as well as anything we agree on to purchase for joint use - furniture or landscaping for example. Other stuff comes from our personal accounts - her Volks, my laptop, stuff like that. We're both responsible people though so there's no chance of one of us spending so much that the house payment would be jeapordized. Absolutely no stress in it at all.

 

LOL I've had a few at about half that but that month was definitely unusual. I don't even use my Aadvantage one anymore although I'm down to 250K miles (all from the cc), now I'm into cashback.

You have to do what's comfortable with you $$$$ so if you are both comfortable with the plan the go for it.

 

I don't really have anything new to contribute, but my fiancee and I are in the "shared accounts" camp... we've been together for 9 years and have lived together and had combined accounts for 7. We don't use our bank account to pay for anything but bills at the end of the month, including credit cards. We use Amex with membership rewards. We each have a card linked to the same account. We're both reasonable individuals. When we want to buy something, we buy it, within reason. Big expenditures are discussed. We both make about the same $$. I handle all the finances, but only because she doesn't want to... she was doing it at the beginning of the relationship, but she forgot about some bills, got behind, and then she asked if I would begin to take care of it.. been doing it ever since.

This is all IMO...

Having separate accounts takes some of the chivalry out of the relationship. Some women like this, some don't. Personally I think fewer men care about whether they have a shared account or separate accounts than women.

 

How is it healthier to have separate accounts? To me that shows a lack of trust and tells me that you are trying to hide something.


Can't agree with you on that one. We've been happily married for 15 years. Been together for 20. And it only gets better every year!