Keep $ seperate between Husband and Wife?
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From: South Jersey
I believe the moral of the story is, if it has been discussed and both sides are in agreement with the financial situation and arrangments, and trust each other, that is all that matters. Everyone has their own opinion and views on what having separate accounts means or what it doesn't mean. The fact is, it's really none of anyone elses business. If the way you do it works for you, great.
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A far as I remember....keeping money "seperate" while married is worthless, and it will never hold up in court.
By the IRS and all other entities, as long as you are married, you have one income...you can split it 1600 ways, but its still one income.
People who do that usually just dont know any better (if you are doing this to avoid getting screwed), and feel more "independent" from the other party.
If you dont have a prenuptual agreement, you might as well have one account (unless you have a good reason to have more), because you are not protected in case of divorce.
By the IRS and all other entities, as long as you are married, you have one income...you can split it 1600 ways, but its still one income.
People who do that usually just dont know any better (if you are doing this to avoid getting screwed), and feel more "independent" from the other party.
If you dont have a prenuptual agreement, you might as well have one account (unless you have a good reason to have more), because you are not protected in case of divorce.
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At the end it is a choice and state of mind.
People with seperate accounts/financial independence etc. may very often use the word 'my' rather than 'our'. Though some of us may find this strange, that's the way it is - it isn't necessarily wrong, just a different perspective.
My wife and I have seperate accounts, but we use all of mine for savings/fixed costs and hers for spending. We each get an 'allowance' from her salary as mentioned by some others on this thread.
My opinion is that in marriage, 'I' becomes 'We' and 'mine' becomes 'ours'. Sure you still have your own clothes that will not be 'ours' (in most cases
), but the house will always be ours and even the S is ours, even though she has never driven it and never will since she can't drive stick.
Paying for a meal sperately (for example) is just odd and not really a sign of a solid marriage. With my wife and I, whoever has the cash will pay and there is never any talk or thought of 'who's' money was spent.
IMO at the end of the day it has a lot to do with mental security (or insecurity), maturity and how you were brought up.
My 2 cents...
People with seperate accounts/financial independence etc. may very often use the word 'my' rather than 'our'. Though some of us may find this strange, that's the way it is - it isn't necessarily wrong, just a different perspective.
My wife and I have seperate accounts, but we use all of mine for savings/fixed costs and hers for spending. We each get an 'allowance' from her salary as mentioned by some others on this thread.
My opinion is that in marriage, 'I' becomes 'We' and 'mine' becomes 'ours'. Sure you still have your own clothes that will not be 'ours' (in most cases
), but the house will always be ours and even the S is ours, even though she has never driven it and never will since she can't drive stick. Paying for a meal sperately (for example) is just odd and not really a sign of a solid marriage. With my wife and I, whoever has the cash will pay and there is never any talk or thought of 'who's' money was spent.
IMO at the end of the day it has a lot to do with mental security (or insecurity), maturity and how you were brought up.
My 2 cents...
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From: Longmont, CO
Originally Posted by blastr17,Mar 25 2006, 10:27 AM
I would be embarrassed to go out to dinner with another couple and when the bill comes ask my wife for her portion of the bill. do the people who have separate accounts do this?
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From: Longmont, CO
Originally Posted by speed_bump,Mar 25 2006, 04:18 PM
I could care less if she had her own account and I'm sure she feels the same but I guess we don't feel the need to hide any of our stuff.
See? Doing thing either way doesn't imply anything about trust or lack thereof.
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From: Longmont, CO
Originally Posted by NFRs2000NYC,Mar 26 2006, 12:55 AM
A far as I remember....keeping money "seperate" while married is worthless, and it will never hold up in court.
By the IRS and all other entities, as long as you are married, you have one income...you can split it 1600 ways, but its still one income.
People who do that usually just dont know any better (if you are doing this to avoid getting screwed), and feel more "independent" from the other party.l
By the IRS and all other entities, as long as you are married, you have one income...you can split it 1600 ways, but its still one income.
People who do that usually just dont know any better (if you are doing this to avoid getting screwed), and feel more "independent" from the other party.l
Joined: Jul 2003
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From: Upstate NY
Originally Posted by Arfiman1,Mar 26 2006, 05:53 AM
At the end it is a choice and state of mind.
People with seperate accounts/financial independence etc. may very often use the word 'my' rather than 'our'. Though some of us may find this strange, that's the way it is - it isn't necessarily wrong, just a different perspective.
My wife and I have seperate accounts, but we use all of mine for savings/fixed costs and hers for spending. We each get an 'allowance' from her salary as mentioned by some others on this thread.
My opinion is that in marriage, 'I' becomes 'We' and 'mine' becomes 'ours'. Sure you still have your own clothes that will not be 'ours' (in most cases ), but the house will always be ours and even the S is ours, even though she has never driven it and never will since she can't drive stick.
Paying for a meal sperately (for example) is just odd and not really a sign of a solid marriage. With my wife and I, whoever has the cash will pay and there is never any talk or thought of 'who's' money was spent.
IMO at the end of the day it has a lot to do with mental security (or insecurity), maturity and how you were brought up.
My 2 cents...
People with seperate accounts/financial independence etc. may very often use the word 'my' rather than 'our'. Though some of us may find this strange, that's the way it is - it isn't necessarily wrong, just a different perspective.
My wife and I have seperate accounts, but we use all of mine for savings/fixed costs and hers for spending. We each get an 'allowance' from her salary as mentioned by some others on this thread.
My opinion is that in marriage, 'I' becomes 'We' and 'mine' becomes 'ours'. Sure you still have your own clothes that will not be 'ours' (in most cases
), but the house will always be ours and even the S is ours, even though she has never driven it and never will since she can't drive stick. Paying for a meal sperately (for example) is just odd and not really a sign of a solid marriage. With my wife and I, whoever has the cash will pay and there is never any talk or thought of 'who's' money was spent.
IMO at the end of the day it has a lot to do with mental security (or insecurity), maturity and how you were brought up.
My 2 cents...
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From: Upstate NY
Originally Posted by Elistan,Mar 25 2006, 12:01 PM
Actaully, wanting them combined shows lack of trust, IMO - why else would you want to keep an eye on everything your partner spends money on? If I completely trust my partner, I'd have no issue at all with her keeping seperate accounts.
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From: Longmont, CO
Sure, if you are keeping things hidden, the relationship suffers. But my point is that having seperate accounts does NOT imply that anything is hidden. Everything I've purchased out of my personal account has been entirely visible.