Say what? A lot of people file jointly or seperately. That's why there is that option. It depends on the individuals, there are times where it is advantageous to do so.

 

I'm not married yet, nor any where close to that point in my life. I think this statement is very subjective. Every couple is different and some like lots of autonomy and some like none--I dont think you can make a blanked statement saying it is healthy to have autonomy when married. I personally agree with you, but that doesnt mean that all people view it the same way. I disagree with you however on not sharing finances. When I get married, I do not plan on having separate accounts...period.

I want to be able for my wife and I to share money. I also feel that it actually builds trust with the other person--not break it down as some people suggest. The people arguing that it breaks down trust, probably see sharing money as a test. I wouldn't view it as a test at all, because dating is the test--not marriage! And finances are an unfortunate necessity in today's world--something I personally feel should be a shared decision and both partners can freely use it with in reason.

Let the autonomy in the relationship be saved for less critical issues such as hobbies, etc. that won't cause strain in the relationship.

Granted, I'm not married, just my feelings on things.

 

The reason I believe that individuals should maintain autonomy in a relationship is because otherwise one individual will gradually overshadow the other because one may have a stronger personality, or one may not have self confidence, etc. In marriage, people need to grow, both as a couple and as individuals.

As I read through the responses in this thread, I sense (my perception) a bias on the part of younger people to believe all monies should be combined, and those of us that are older believe they shouldn't be. Admittedly, when I was first married, all our income went into a combined account. There was little left for much of anything after paying the bills.

When you end up with incomes from five or six sources, things get a little more complex and multiple accounts make life easier.

What hasn't been addressed in this thread are second marriages (which at last count is 50% of the population). Try telling an individual that has been out of a marriage for quite a while that they need to put all their income into a joint account.

The bottom line is my spouse and I both find these multiple accounts to make our lives easier. It has nothing to do with trust, or anything other than we like it this way.

BTW we live in CA which is a community property state, so it isn't a matter of what's mine is mine. Everything belongs to both of us.

 

[QUOTE=turbo_pwr,Mar 26 2006, 11:37 AM] Say what?

 

It is possible to have multiple accounts without the intent on trying to "protect" your money from your spouse in the event of a divorce. I'm not sure why you're assuming that is why people actually do this.

 

We lived together before we were married and we split the bills. When we got married, we kept it the same way. I have always made more money, so my bills were higher. Last year she made more money than I did (see, I told you people that teachers made more money the school administrators and no one believed me), but I still pay more of the bills. We have been together for 17 years and married for 14. It has always worked for us and we see no reason to change it.

 

LOL I guess I'm the exception depending on where your cut off for older is set. 23+ years of not having individual accounts.
[QUOTE]
What hasn't been addressed in this thread are second marriages (which at last count is 50% of the population). Try telling an individual that has been out of a marriage for quite a while that they need to put all their income into a joint account.

 

Do they also put little stickies with name on their own food in the frig.....and sleep on separate beds......?The only reason someone would do this is that they plan on getting a divorce....

Second dumbest thing i heard today.Frist is getting arrested at a bar for being drunk...


Peace
David

 

While I think that may be the reason for some. I think some just like to have their own money to spend without jsutifying it to their spouse. The wife and I don't feel the need for any of that so we don't.

Like I said before if you and the spouse are comfortable with no indivdual accounts if you are comfortable with individual accounts Whatever floats your boat.

 

I just think that keeping separate accounts is a sign of mistrust. If you're going to keep separate accounts, might as well sleep in separate beds, eat separately, etc. I can see people wanting to protect their own money in a divorce but why even think like that during a marriage? Why even get married in the first place if you don't trust your partner? I just don't get it.