i don't think it suggests a lack of trust, just very poor incentives. if you believe, as most would, that this marriage thing is for life, then the shared system obviously incentivizes each individual to do what is best for the marriage.

is it possible to do it otherwise? sure, but doing so is inherently less transparent in many respects.

 

The boss owns you!

 

Whatever you do, make sure you have it written down in the pre-nup. If you don't have a pre-nup, take that "comfortable" existence you think you have now, and get ready to piss it out the window. . .

 

Isn't that effectively the same as having one joint account plus each of you having smaller, separate accounts for your allowance?

I'm not married, but if/when I do get married, I expect I'll do like other people in this thread have suggested. I'll have one main shared account for major shared bills (mortgage, utilities, groceries, major purchases), and then smaller individual accounts for "mad money." If you have a shared account, you'll have to check the balance and/or get approval from your spouse for every little thing you want to buy. You don't want to find out that your shared account is overdrawn because you tried to buy some new sneakers the same week that your wife wanted to buy a new purse. Likewise, if you want to order something nice for your wife's birthday, you don't want to have the surprise spoiled because the shared account statement shows up before she receives the gift.

To me, individual accounts just seem easier to manage. It has nothing to do with trust.

 

you can have multiple people on one checking account, when you are married you can use a spouse's cards, sign their checks....online banking makes balance status irrelevant...

am i missing something?

 

yes, you are missing the fact (per MXT) that if one or the other spouse wants to buy something they shouldn't necessarily have to check in to make sure there is enough money in the account, they should have their own separate account for their personal expenditures and a joint account for the joint expenditures

 

do what me and my wife do, i make 75% of our yearly income, therefore i get all the toys, and she gets a break from me two weeks at a time

but seriously she handles our expenses (groceries, clothes, etc)
while i take care of our bills (car notes, utilities, auto insurance, etc)

it works out well

 

Yep, that's exactly my point. Just because you're married shouldn't mean that you have to completely give up your financial independence. Sure, you will now have shared obligations, but you should still have control over your day-to-day expenditures without having to check-in and see if there is money available. If you want to save your allowance to buy a new set of golf clubs, you should be able to do that without getting permission (and without worrying about her dipping into the money you've saved for that, just because it appears that there's money available in a joint account). Likewise, if she wants a new Prada purse, that's fine... so long as it comes out of her account.

 

I have been married for 7 years. We have only had a joint account (we started it before we got married). We make a budget every month. We have never argued about money. We do not buy something if it is not on the budget. If you want to be rich: make more money than you spend and do it for a long time. I don't care if you are a millionaire the only way to see to it that you are spending less than you make is to have a budget. A budget also makes for a happy marriage.

If you are truly living off a budget then there is really no point to seperate checking accounts because every penny is accounted for anyway. Unless you just wanted a separate checking account for your "blow money". But percentage wise speaking, the blow money in our budget is very very small.

 

I agree with this way, or just taking all the money and giving her an allowance.