From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together
as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster
that says "There is no I
in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is
hilarious.
However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the
cave. And frankly I have a few concerns. First of all, while it's good to be
concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the
scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung
and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up
sheet near the main cave opening. Second, it's not often I make a video
address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on
earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your
razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not
supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Love you lots. Osama

 

magnifique