NEW WORDS FOR 2002 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group,
discussing why a deadline was missed or a project
failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a
lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire
day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in
the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops
something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads
pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's
answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have
children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been
rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn
away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free
photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles
that are annoying but you find yourself unable to
stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking
the hell out of an electronic device to get it to
work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions
that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide
Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the
requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that
are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as
fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in
which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

 

Ahh thats funny stuff. Here's my contribution to the cause then.

Meeting bingo!

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those
long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that
5"x5" is a good size-and dividing it into columns-five across and
five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergy

strategic fit

core competencies

best practice

bottom line

revisit

take that off-line

24/7

out of the loop

benchmark

value-added

proactive

win-win

think outside the box

fast track,

result-driven

empower (or empowerment)

knowledge base

at the end of the day,

touch base

mindset

client focus(ed)

ballpark

game plan

leverage

traction

"Best of Class"

"Hi-Touch"

5 9's (I added this)


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

Sadly, I had some people do this to me on a call a few months back...needless to say I've taken most of these words out of any presentation

 

That's Funny! My next meeting is tommorrow for 2 hours! I'll play Bingo then

 

lmao, I need some new 'bingo' cards too