Crap Zeiss, you are good.

This thread is far from sucking. A lot of questions are being answered.

I'm a long term relationship type guy but lately I feel I need to try something different (currently going into my thrid year with current girl, my previous was a 5 year relationship.) but I feel this one is a keeper. I have tried to talk her into a threesome with an additional female and she has responded positively but the way I see it is that if I do it what would make her not want to be with another guy? (which it won't fly in my book).

Seis can you help a brother out?

 

Certified PIMP!

 

I'm not an "insecure clinger" by any means, but I know that I couldn't handle it. I'm a jealous person with a very short temper by nature so ... ya, I couldn't handle it. Haha.

 

Diablo99V wrote:
"I'm a long term relationship type guy but lately I feel I need to try something different (currently going into my thrid year with current girl, my previous was a 5 year relationship.) but I feel this one is a keeper. I have tried to talk her into a threesome with an additional female and she has responded positively but the way I see it is that if I do it what would make her not want to be with another guy? (which it won't fly in my book).

Seis can you help a brother out?"

Well, Diablo, everyone's reaction is different to these situations. I've been in FMF threesomes, and I've been in MFM threesomes. I have to say that before I had the experience, I would have felt exactly the way that you do, but these situations don't actually work out the way we imagine them. In a FMF situation, if you really want to please both women, you are going to have your hands full (no pun intended). Presumably this will be with your girlfriend and a friend of hers or yours. So, a "wham, bam, thank-you-ma'am" without caring whether the women are both having a good time isn't going to work. You'll find that you are damn busy and that it is difficult to focus on one without leaving the other one feeling somewhat neglected. I know that in reading this, you are thinking "I'd love to have that kind of problem" and certainly I have not regretted being in that sort of situation, but it isn't as simple as just having sex with one and then with the other -- you really have to be engaged with both of them at once. It is like trying to have an orgasm while juggling. So you may not be able to focus as much on your own pleasure to the extent that you would in a one-on-one situation. Even in situations when both women claimed to be bi-sexual, I found that they really didn't fool around with each other much -- what they were looking for was interaction with the one male in the group. Don't count on taking many short breaks to enjoy watching "hot lesbo sex." You will be very busy keeping them happy.


The biggest surprise to me is that in a MFM situation, where before I had ever been in a situation like that I thought that I'd have jealousy or be uncomfortable in the presence of another guy. My fears turned out to be unjustified. Surprisingly enough, since (presumably) you aren't engaged in having sex with the other guy, you only have to focus on the woman in this triad, and women are biologically blessed by nature to be able to accommodate more than one guy simultaneously. So, it was really rather easy, and a lot more fun than I had anticipated.

One nice thing about having experience with threesomes of both types is that it really makes you a lot more relaxed about issues related to sex, such as jealousy. What it does is enforce that sex is just fun, and that you can be in a loving relationship with someone and just have these little adventures, either together or on the side, without all the emotional trauma that you might think it would entail. It really is much less of a big deal than people who have not experienced this think.

Hope that this is of some use to you. Life is too short to fret. If you have a partner who is interested in this sort of thing, just consider yourself lucky and have fun.

 

00integrals wrote:
"I'm not an "insecure clinger" by any means, but I know that I couldn't handle it. I'm a jealous person with a very short temper by nature so ... ya, I couldn't handle it. Haha."

No, I don't consider you an insecure clinger at all, 00integrals. These things are intensely personal, and you have to do what makes you happy. My comments are directed to people who are drawn to these kinds of experiences, but are held back by fear. Why lead your life without the experiences that you want?

I've gone for very long periods of time in monogamy, and was quite content. My varied experiences reflect where I was at that point in my life. I do know that when the time comes for me to shuffle off this mortal coil, or when I'm so old and decrepit that sex really isn't an option, I'm not going to have regrets about lost opportunities or missed experiences.

There's no one formula that works for everyone, and often there is no one formula that works for one person for his/her entire life. But if there is one formula that works for you, then that's what you should do, so be monogamous with my blessing and I'm sure the blessings of everyone here. If it doesn't work for you, then don't do it, also with my blessing. Do what brings you happiness, as long as it does no harm to others. A pretty simple rule, really.

Zeiss

 

im insecure and jealous : (

 

This is only a problem if you are in a monogamous relationship, but want a non-monogamous one. Otherwise, what's the problem? So does the unhappy face mean that you really would like to have other experiences, but are psychologically incapable of doing it, tsanhd?

 

I Don't Like to SHARE!!!!!