Off Topic: Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld just called a press conference to announce that U.S. Special Forces have just captured Osama bin Laden in the mountains of Southern Afghanistan. They sprayed the entire country with Viagra and the little prick popped up.

 

I'd bet you're not single either...

 

What is that suppose to mean?




DaRKCrow
"I am single like a dolla bill......"

 

That refers to having to kiss a lot of toads to find my handsome prince

 

Well, zippy I guess I'm the other half of that but we don't count cause were already taken! Oh well, another dream shot to hell! Ho Hum! <frown with elbows on knees>

 

Not for almost 28 years, in fact I can't remember being single, maybe it's it's Alzheimers.

 

Signs of menopause:

(1) You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

(2) Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you aren't amused, you shoot him.

(3) You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

(4) You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.

 

LOL

 

Blonde Cook Book

MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake.
The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors
were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said
serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a
surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly
before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but
I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.
It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of
lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up
to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all
ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have
been something wrong with this recipe. When I got
back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY:
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.
He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For
some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast.
All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash
of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set
the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger,
much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.
This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for
tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on
Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like
to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

 

LOL