These useful quotes are from actual federal employee performance evaluations:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't-be.
4. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
10. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
11. He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier.
13. He has been working with glue too much.
14. He would argue with a signpost.
15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell
17. If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he is the other one.
18. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
19. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
20. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is not coming.
21. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
22. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change.
23. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
24. One neuron short of a synapse.
25. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

Wouldn't you just love to put some of these in your next review of an employee???

 

You know I think I've used a few of those on some of my "personal" comments. Usually moving up the food chain rather than reported