Qualifying exams
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From: RSM
Qualifying exams
Since its finals week for some of us, I thought I'd share an old, but still funny, list of qualifying exams.
History
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day; concentrate especially but not exclusively on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
Medicine
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.
Public Speaking
2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Biology
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
Music
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Psychology
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Sociology
Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Management Science
Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all the necessary control programs.
Economics
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
Political Science
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Epistemology
Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the validity of your position.
Physics
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Chemistry
Transform lead into gold. You will find a tripod and three lead tubes under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.
Philosophy
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
History
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day; concentrate especially but not exclusively on the social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
Medicine
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.
Public Speaking
2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Biology
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to the probable effects on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
Music
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Psychology
Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
Sociology
Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Management Science
Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all the necessary control programs.
Economics
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from all points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
Political Science
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
Epistemology
Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the validity of your position.
Physics
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Chemistry
Transform lead into gold. You will find a tripod and three lead tubes under your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.
Philosophy
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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From: Lexington, Kentucky
Originally Posted by C U AT 9K,Dec 12 2007, 04:23 PM
Hell yeah got one more to go then I'm free!!!! Til January! 
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