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Relationship advice

Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:04 AM
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Default Relationship advice

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years and I just broke up. She couldn't get over the past (stupid little things, I didn't cheat on her or anything) and we would fight about something she would bring up everyday. So we decided to split up.

I have been miserable for the past week and can't get my mind off of her. I do NOT want to get back with her, but I love her so much. It sucks because everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of her. I used to see her EVERY single day so we pretty much did everything together.

What do I need to do to get over her? I'm so heartbroken. I've tried getting drunk, but it is only a temporary solution, with bad repercussions in the morning.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:15 AM
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You need to get a new girl to get over the last one. Maybe find someone you don't do EVERYTHING together with would be my advice. Perfect example would love sports, beer, driving, and would have her own sports car. Maybe start attending autocrosses and see if there are any cuties...
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:18 AM
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Were you drinking with friends?

Another fun temporary solution is chasing more women.

Ummm, so, before we begin the inquisition, there are some relevant questions to ask:

1. How old are you?
2. How old was she?
3. General life situation (career? Kids?)
4. WHAT WAS SHE BRINGING UP EVERYDAY THAT YOU COULD PUT UP WITH THAT FOR 2 and 1/2 ING YEARS?!?!?!?!
5. If she can't get over the past, then what were your chances of getting the relationship to grow and develop? (FFS!!! )
6. It may take a while, but grow some stones. If you did the right thing, then stop doubting yourself.
7. http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Saki GT,Jan 3 2007, 01:15 PM
You need to get a new girl to get over the last one. Maybe find someone you don't do EVERYTHING together with would be my advice. Perfect example would love sports, beer, driving, and would have her own sports car. Maybe start attending autocrosses and see if there are any cuties...
That has always been my solution with girls I didn't feel so strongly about, getting another girl. That is a good piece of advice, I won't get so attached to the next girl. Thanks for the fast response.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by npham,Jan 3 2007, 02:04 PM
My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years and I just broke up. She couldn't get over the past (stupid little things, I didn't cheat on her or anything) and we would fight about something she would bring up everyday. So we decided to split up.

I have been miserable for the past week and can't get my mind off of her. I do NOT want to get back with her, but I love her so much. It sucks because everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of her. I used to see her EVERY single day so we pretty much did everything together.

What do I need to do to get over her? I'm so heartbroken. I've tried getting drunk, but it is only a temporary solution, with bad repercussions in the morning.
You will have that feeling for about 2 weeks or so, its normal. I have maybe felt like that twice in my life and each time I got over it no problem. Just do fun stuff, go to sporting events with friends, call up that one chick you used to fuk and fuk her brains out....you know stuff like that. drinking is good, but only when you are social about it, sitting at home drinking and looking at internet pron will only make you more depressed.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Jan 3 2007, 01:18 PM
Were you drinking with friends?

Another fun temporary solution is chasing more women.

Ummm, so, before we begin the inquisition, there are some relevant questions to ask:

1. How old are you?
2. How old was she?
3. General life situation (career? Kids?)
4. WHAT WAS SHE BRINGING UP EVERYDAY THAT YOU COULD PUT UP WITH THAT FOR 2 and 1/2 ING YEARS?!?!?!?!
5. If she can't get over the past, then what were your chances of getting the relationship to grow and develop? (FFS!!! )
6. It may take a while, but grow some stones. If you did the right thing, then stop doubting yourself.
7. http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
Yea I was drinking with friends, but I normally am not a drinker. I just took shot after shot of Bacardi 151.

I'm 20, she is 19.

No kids, still going to school. BTW we go to the same school.

She could not get over the two times that I defended my best friends when she got in an argument with them. A couple of times I chose to hang out with friends that went off to college and came back into town for a couple of days.

The one time she can't seem to get over is when I went clubbing and her friends saw some girls initiating conversations and trying to dance with me. She had not trust in me at all, so she assumed that I did something I didn't.

I loved her a lot, so I tried and tried to work it out hoping she would forget, but it didn't happen. Too stubborn.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:38 AM
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a lot of the times when you're in a relationship with someone, you neglect your relationships with other people... so now is your chance to build your relationships back up with your friends and family that you might have neglected. call friends and hang out with people you haven't seen in awhile. you'll be pleasantly surprised how much a few friends can fill the void of one boyfriend/girlfriend.

also, don't try to pretend that you don't miss your girlfriend. if you miss her, than be honest with yourself about it. a lot of the time people will put up a front like they're totally over a relationship. i know from experience with a girlfriend of mine... her boyfriend dumped her and from then on she'd laugh and talk about how "over it" she was, how great it was to be single, how glad she was that she wasn't tied down and she could be her ownself, and she always encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend so i could be "liberated" like her. it was totally obvious to everyone that she was farrrrr from over it. and two years later, you can still tell that she isn't over the relationship. so LET IT OUT... write about it, talk about it, go on long drives with the top down and think about it.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by gotrice02,Jan 3 2007, 01:36 PM
call up that one chick you used to fuk and fuk her brains out....you know stuff like that. ...sitting at home drinking and looking at internet pron will only make you more depressed.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:47 AM
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its not really right to the next girl that your using to get over with, unless you make it obvious you don't want a relationship. I was in an almost identicle situation, except my ex just wouldnt stop talking to his ex-gf. So i was the nagger. Its one thing to respect me by introducing me if shes such a good friend, its another to be sneaky/sly and get phone calls at 4 in the morning and then lie about the caller. Her boyfriend didn't even know either, that is until I tracked him down and told him The only thing that would have made me feel better/or still could cause im still hurting, is another guy. Once you have another person to think about, you won't think of the ex as much. Unfortunately all the men I come across are um 'not up to par'. So its good to find a "rebound" just don't #### with their heart. It would be ashame if you start talking to a girl to get over your ex, and the other girl starts falling for you.
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Old Jan 3, 2007 | 10:48 AM
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Originally Posted by C_Unit,Jan 3 2007, 01:38 PM
a lot of the times when you're in a relationship with someone, you neglect your relationships with other people... so now is your chance to build your relationships back up with your friends and family that you might have neglected. call friends and hang out with people you haven't seen in awhile. you'll be pleasantly surprised how much a few friends can fill the void of one boyfriend/girlfriend.

also, don't try to pretend that you don't miss your girlfriend. if you miss her, than be honest with yourself about it. a lot of the time people will put up a front like they're totally over a relationship. i know from experience with a girlfriend of mine... her boyfriend dumped her and from then on she'd laugh and talk about how "over it" she was, how great it was to be single, how glad she was that she wasn't tied down and she could be her ownself, and she always encouraged me to break up with my boyfriend so i could be "liberated" like her. it was totally obvious to everyone that she was farrrrr from over it. and two years later, you can still tell that she isn't over the relationship. so LET IT OUT... write about it, talk about it, go on long drives with the top down and think about it.
That is good advice. You are right, I did neglect my friends and family. I'm surprised they are still there for me.

I am very honest with myself. I miss her to death and have never claimed otherwise. If I did, I would be lying to myself.
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