I don't really ever make a post like this but it's driving me crazy and it's very important to me. Sorry if this is the wrong section I just need to vent a little.

My gf and I have been dating for the past year and a half and it has been awesome. We both love each other very much and have gone through so much together. I'm 21 and she is almost 19. She is VERY career oriented and doesn't want her family to go through the same things her parents did (divorce, short on money, etc). She goes to local college and has two jobs. One is a weekend only job on certain dates for events for her uncle who owns a Geico franchise down in Charleston (bout 2 1/2 hrs away) which is going to take up a looot of the weekends this year, which is fine, it's a good opportunity.

But recently she undertook a new job at the gym I go to heading up their Marketing and her outlook completely changed. Ever since she started it we have been bickering bc she feels I don't trust or support her. For the first couple weeks I didn't support her, I can admit that. I was upset I didn't get to see her hardly anymore and was having a hard time with the changes with her job and me being laid off from mine. So her job was to go to businesses during the day and promote cross marketing and then at night her and a few other girls and some of the personal trainers that work there would go to bars/clubs at night and promote gym memberships. Fine, I can deal with that. But I am somewhat insecure and was worried about her doing the promos and stuff almost every week night at bars/clubs and being hit on as she is very attractive, and that cut our time spent together in half. That's still fine, she comes home with me, it's all good I can get over it. But she still feels I don't trust her.

She has since quit this job as the gym went under new management and basically screwed her and the other marketing girl over, so now she is back at the tanning bed she was working at beforehand. But I think I do trust her, I am just an insecure person still. I'm doing my best to work on it (I myself am taking personal training trying to get back into shape, and have made a lot of progress so far but it takes time) but when she's texting someone or something like that then I always can't help but to ask "who was that" "what'd they want" things like that. I know it drives her crazy. I know she knows how to handle herself if she gets hit on and how to get out of situations and what not but I have this mental block in my head I guess. And I know she wouldnt cheat on me but I have my reasons for being paranoid. My father cheats on my mom for god knows how long now and I can't find myself to tell my mom. She is one of those church types that is so oblivious to everything.

I guess I felt obligated to post all that history bc I need to know what I can do to make her feel I trust her. So that whole situation with my dad is in my head and she gets frustrated bc she thinks I'm comparing her to him and feels that I don't trust her. I'm just scared she's going to break up with me bc she feels I don't trust her. I don't know how to show her other than to stop giving her the 3rd degree I guess. We were both upset tonight and she just kept saying that she didn't feel like she wasn't happy anymore and she is so confused and she just hates feeling untrusted after all this time and how trust is one of her key reasons in a relationship.

This is my first REAL relationship that actually meant something and my first time in love. I don't want to lose her for anything. Do we need a break or something? What does that even mean taking a break? Does anybody have a similar experience or advice? I'm just really down and she is out of town this weekend for an event in Charleston and will be back on Sunday. She is different than other girls, I don't know how to explain it but my friends tell me they wish their gf's did the things she does for me. She is genuinely a great person and I believe she is the right one for me.

Sorry for the venting!

edit: things are fine now, just my insecurities stressing me out more than i needed to be.

 

We need less words and more pics.

 

One word of advice... DO NOT take a break. I was in the same insecure situation as you are in a couple yrs back, and we ended up not being together. I hope you can find it in yourself to trust your GF more.

 

taking a break= the start of the end..

 

DTR, NATS

 

You say you know she wouldn't cheat on you, yet don't trust her because of infidelity you've witnessed in another relationship (your parents). If your reasons for not trusting her are solely because your father has been unfaithful, it doesn't matter who you're dating - you will never trust your partner.

I probably don't have to say this, but trust is critical in a relationship. If you can't trust her (and demonstrate this through your actions), then it will fall apart no matter how much you love each other.

 

/agree

 

Trust her until/unless she gives you a reason NOT to trust her. If you don't, you will lose her. You're actions now may drive to her someone else.

 

Ya'll will break up regardless of what you do. She's an 18 year old girl. Find yourself a woman.

Options you can try to remedy your problem:

DTR, NATS
Try hitting her
PIIHB

 

You have to believe in her and trust her, period. If she is truly worth keeping.