<rant>
Ok, I might as well use my $20 membership for what it was meant for: advice and knowledge.

However, if you are going to say something like "you shouldn't be looking for advice in your personal life on the internet" or something along those lines, don't bother writing. I'm only looking for constructive replies.

Ok, I'm a 26 year old young man who appears to be headed on the right track to success in life. I have a 4 year college degree, make decent money for my age, have my own apartment, and have always been able to have nice cars. I'm relatively popular and have a diverse group of friends. I guess i can say that I'm a good looking guy, as well.


Here's the area of concern:
When is comes to dating, I've made some poor choices. The women I tend to date range from very different profiles. However, there have been 2 serious girfriends in my life and they both have emotional problems.

My most recent ex lived through a childhood that I wouldn't wish on Damien in the Omen. Unfortunately, she brought that animosity into our relationship and it eventually went sour. Being a guy who has come from a loving, upper middle class family, why am I emotionally attracted to someone with virtually nothing in common with me?

I'm baffled as to why this is, especially since there have been plenty of women one would think would be a good match for me - beautiful, good career, supportive family, etc etc etc, but the connection just wasn't there. Maybe it's just a desire to be needed and that's why I fall for women who seem to depend on me, I don't know.


Anybody feel like adding two cents?

</rant>

 

I don't know if this helps but my background is identical to yours, 26yr old, degree, decent pay, yadda yadda yadda....

Of the 5-7 women I have had relationships with, every single one of them comes from divorced parents. I could never explain it but somehow they find me.

 

^ yeah, but you have an Exige and I'm super envious

 

Easy, you like most young guys are attracted to different and especially disorder because it's exciting to you given your whitewashed boring life (relatively). What you'll find when you get older is that you'll eventually learn all the things you don't like about girls and pick one that has as little of those attributes as possible. In the end you'll find a girl surprisingly similar to your upbringing who has similar morals and ideals yet compliments your personality.

Also, all women are crazy, you need to find one who is just crazy enough for you to tolerate.

 

Amen Raj

 

/thread

 

I have a male friend who fits the same demographic as you do and he picks the worst girlfriends ever. The thing all the train wrecks he dates have in common is tons o' drama and his perception that they need to be rescued by a stable, decent guy (although after years of lurking around here, the phrase "decent guy" seems to be an oxymoron ). If you're consistently attracted to the needy whack jobs, maybe it's simply insecurity on your part.

Or you're just as crazy as the women you date and you don't realize it.

 

I've definitely read some good feedback so far. Maybe the insecurity IS on my part; maybe I yen to be needed because it makes me feel important. Lucid point.

Feel free to dig into me , s2ki; I have hard skin.

 

Yep, this is true.

You have what my mother used to refer to as "Wounded Duck Syndrome." I always dated girls who had issues - be it family problems, drinking, school, etc etc. They were decent girls, most of them very pretty, but they were all in need of my help and that may be where some of the attraction is. When they get that wide-eyed amazement at what a seemlingly perfect life you grew up with (and currently continue to live), you end up subconsciously liking how it feels to be envied and wanted by someone.

I suspect I also grew up much the same as you; upper-middle class, parents together still, I'm 25 years old, no Exige like SkiBum, but what can ya do.

 

my best friend has this problem...he wonders why i dont want to invite his girlfriends to my house. he just likes girls with problems since they can offer him some sort of feeling of importance. "wounded duck"...i like it.

i tend to run from girls like this..but who knows, maybe i am missing something