sick of paying for the dates? must read
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From: HERNDON
sick of paying for the dates? must read
(got it from e46fanatics, not my story) but it's awesome...
Story for those of you sick of picking up the 1st date tab...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The author is my cousin's friend]
MY DATE LAST NIGHT
*
When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates*
last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now*
don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good*
conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I*
came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter*
wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!*
*
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my*
date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to*
let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and even I was surprised*
that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%!*
One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice*
gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all*
this evidence I knew I had*to change some things. So, this year...*
*
I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First I*
adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for*
herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then*
when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a*
credit card and ask them to open tabs for us.*
HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the*
girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the*
server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her*
cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you*
know the MasterCard "priceless" series of commercials? Well, let me tell*
you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of*
these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food*
(that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing*
to*
encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic*
gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause*
SHE'S PAYING.*
*
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a*
few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me*
by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite*
figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or*
that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination of*
both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which*
brings me to my date last night.. omg...*
*
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested wasn't good enough for her.*
Nah.she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson?*
Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar.*
Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge*
tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed*
the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and*
took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to*
get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the*
'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me*
tell you - the girl I was with could really throw down the drinks. She was*
drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I*
encouraged her the whole way.*
*
She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever*
try it?' She's like..'Nooooooo!!!'*
*
I'm like, 'go on..just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like,*
'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and*
finally one more... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck*
to my Stoli and Soda, splash of Cran.*
*
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5*
drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked*
and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was*
buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her*
away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli,*
but overall still a good value (I ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds)*
$36.00. D*mn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course*
she did more than*
the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was*
speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the*
restroom.*
*
I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking*
concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward*
the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then*
security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match*
ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!*
*
Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor*
waitress standing just inside the front door with a small cocktail tray. She*
did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by*
the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting*
away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn't help*
wondering why she ordered 3*
Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that stuff is expensive? Then I*
wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local*
Irish pub.*
*
I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too *
Story for those of you sick of picking up the 1st date tab...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The author is my cousin's friend]
MY DATE LAST NIGHT
*
When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates*
last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now*
don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good*
conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I*
came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter*
wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!*
*
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my*
date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to*
let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and even I was surprised*
that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%!*
One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice*
gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all*
this evidence I knew I had*to change some things. So, this year...*
*
I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First I*
adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for*
herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then*
when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a*
credit card and ask them to open tabs for us.*
HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the*
girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the*
server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her*
cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you*
know the MasterCard "priceless" series of commercials? Well, let me tell*
you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of*
these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food*
(that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing*
to*
encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic*
gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause*
SHE'S PAYING.*
*
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a*
few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me*
by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite*
figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or*
that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination of*
both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which*
brings me to my date last night.. omg...*
*
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested wasn't good enough for her.*
Nah.she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson?*
Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar.*
Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge*
tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed*
the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and*
took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to*
get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the*
'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me*
tell you - the girl I was with could really throw down the drinks. She was*
drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I*
encouraged her the whole way.*
*
She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever*
try it?' She's like..'Nooooooo!!!'*
*
I'm like, 'go on..just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like,*
'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and*
finally one more... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck*
to my Stoli and Soda, splash of Cran.*
*
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5*
drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked*
and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was*
buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her*
away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli,*
but overall still a good value (I ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds)*
$36.00. D*mn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course*
she did more than*
the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was*
speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the*
restroom.*
*
I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking*
concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward*
the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then*
security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match*
ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!*
*
Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor*
waitress standing just inside the front door with a small cocktail tray. She*
did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by*
the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting*
away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn't help*
wondering why she ordered 3*
Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that stuff is expensive? Then I*
wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local*
Irish pub.*
*
I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too *
Registered User
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 7,840
Likes: 1
From: socal
Originally Posted by p0pe,Jun 7 2005, 01:13 PM
That's a sure way to not get laid.
Cheap ass. He shouldnt date if he cant pay the bills. I've always felt is customary for the guy to pay. If he doesnt want to, I dont see why he has to 'confirm' behind her back. If she's gonna find out anyway, why keep it a secret and set her up? Stupid.
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 221
Likes: 0
From: Bellevue, WA
yeah, thats for people who wants to be a dickhead.
Maybe its the type of girls you are dating then. Here's what i've done and its actually help me weed old gold digger girls and girls who just want to be entertained so that I find the ones who actually really like me.
Many times, depending on the girl though...I've gotten the bill, but i dont do anything we just keep talking and finishing our last drinks etc, then finally when we have to get up to pay, i will usually take out my card or whatever to pay for the first date, then any girl who is polite will offer at least once to pay for her if its an actual dinner date at least, but i say "no this ones on me, if u really want to pay, then you can treat me next time." Anyways, if a girl is truely into you and likes you and isnt just a gold digger or wannabe princess, then the next time you hang out she'll remember and offer to pay, u politely offer to pay also, but she'll remember the "my turn first, your turn next" and she'll give a 2nd offer to pay and you let her.
Now that you found a girl who will pay at least every other time, you don't really loose out. She feels good because she got a free night out the first time, 2nd time she can feel good because she treated her man out.
This is how i've gotten all of my girlfriends basically trained from the get-go to not expect me to pay for every date with them and stuff. I won't allow myself to get whipped like many of my friends whose girlfriend's expect them to pay almost every time they go out. I train my women and wouldnt want one who expects me to pay all the time
Oh, BTW, i also keep the receipts from dates and just write em off my taxes and business dinners. Works great and saves ya a bit depending on what tax bracket you're in.
Maybe its the type of girls you are dating then. Here's what i've done and its actually help me weed old gold digger girls and girls who just want to be entertained so that I find the ones who actually really like me.
Many times, depending on the girl though...I've gotten the bill, but i dont do anything we just keep talking and finishing our last drinks etc, then finally when we have to get up to pay, i will usually take out my card or whatever to pay for the first date, then any girl who is polite will offer at least once to pay for her if its an actual dinner date at least, but i say "no this ones on me, if u really want to pay, then you can treat me next time." Anyways, if a girl is truely into you and likes you and isnt just a gold digger or wannabe princess, then the next time you hang out she'll remember and offer to pay, u politely offer to pay also, but she'll remember the "my turn first, your turn next" and she'll give a 2nd offer to pay and you let her.
Now that you found a girl who will pay at least every other time, you don't really loose out. She feels good because she got a free night out the first time, 2nd time she can feel good because she treated her man out.
This is how i've gotten all of my girlfriends basically trained from the get-go to not expect me to pay for every date with them and stuff. I won't allow myself to get whipped like many of my friends whose girlfriend's expect them to pay almost every time they go out. I train my women and wouldnt want one who expects me to pay all the time
Oh, BTW, i also keep the receipts from dates and just write em off my taxes and business dinners. Works great and saves ya a bit depending on what tax bracket you're in.
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 12,003
Likes: 5
From: I live in an ER
Yes this is a non-traditional move, very smooth and pretty d*mn smart on his part as well. But if the "old" him wouldn't have normal picked up the tab he should have paid her bill as well, he did after all encourage her to drink up.
On another note, the ladies don't usually care what they drink/eat when it comes to first dates. Hell why not drink the finest "I'm not paying." is the mindset the majority of the time. They take advantage of the situation.
We were at a club one night, and you could watch two HOT HOT HOT Ass girls make their rounds from table to table (over about a 2-2.5 hr) time period drinking the drinks of other guys.....just picking it up and taking a drink with a little small talk and boob brushing up against a shoulder.
Maybe this one got a wake up call....
On another note, the ladies don't usually care what they drink/eat when it comes to first dates. Hell why not drink the finest "I'm not paying." is the mindset the majority of the time. They take advantage of the situation.
We were at a club one night, and you could watch two HOT HOT HOT Ass girls make their rounds from table to table (over about a 2-2.5 hr) time period drinking the drinks of other guys.....just picking it up and taking a drink with a little small talk and boob brushing up against a shoulder.
Maybe this one got a wake up call....
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,938
Likes: 0
From: limerick
I think that's great. I've never had a problem with women that just wan't you to pay and then disappear but if it happened to me ever I'd be thinking a little like this guy. First dates should always be low key cheap or free dates. You're just trying to figure out if they are worth it.
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Registered User
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,996
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From: CFL
I read this funny article that said, "courting is like currency for sex". The money we spend on dinners and all that crap is money spent in the exchange for sex. I think a first date should be a place where a man and a woman can meet up. Forget going out to dinner, go out for drinks at a bar/restaurant or club. This way it costs less and you have a better chance or scoring because she will be drinking (she wont know the difference and taking her out to dinner won't get you laid as fast as buying her a few drinks). Before you leave to go out have a few drinks with some friends or at home to get a little loose before you go out. This way, at the bar, you only need 2 drinks or so to top yourself off. The both of you can take 1-2 shots to solidify the buzz and to get your date a little more loose. Also, you can gauge how far she will let you go with her by how she acts and how friendly she is. If things go well, you can invite her back to your place for another drink and close the deal. If she gets on your nerves or turns out to be lame, ditch her and try to pick up someone else. Either way, you didn't have to waste money on a dinner to figure out if it's worth it.
edit:: Oh, I almost forgot..if the girl isn't friendly with you on the first date and you don't feel it right away, trust me, neither does she. If this is the case, make the first date the last one. A woman will let you know if she is into you as soon as she can, that is their nature. The whole "I like to be friends first" or "I like to take things slow" lines are BS. When a woman says that, you may as well pack up your balls and go home. If you are friends with a woman, you shouldn't be spending money on her.
edit:: Oh, I almost forgot..if the girl isn't friendly with you on the first date and you don't feel it right away, trust me, neither does she. If this is the case, make the first date the last one. A woman will let you know if she is into you as soon as she can, that is their nature. The whole "I like to be friends first" or "I like to take things slow" lines are BS. When a woman says that, you may as well pack up your balls and go home. If you are friends with a woman, you shouldn't be spending money on her.
