Slow day today on S2ki OT...
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,373
Likes: 1,617
From: La Crescenta, CA
A grab bag sampler of Raptor's misadventures:
Almost got kicked out of the altar boys for setting the altar on fire just before high mass.
Got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for hiding behind a bush and ambushing the scoutmaster's son (he was a real weenie) with water balloons -- one merit badge short of Eagle Scout.
Almost got kicked out of high school just before graduation for starting a fire in a trash can in the bathroom.
Almost got fired as a boxboy for losing control of 47 shopping carts, which ran through a plate glass window into the store, knocking over a fat lady.
Pledge class got his fraternity suspended for stealing the religious fraternity's neon sign, hanging it from the campus clock tower, chaining a rival fraternity member to his bed, and putting him, his bed, and his VW Beetle in the campus reflecting pool.
The hood flew off his Corvair on the freeway and sailed neatly through the passenger side windshield of a moving van behind him.
On the first night in the Air Force, drunk, fell backward into a reflecting pool with a girl he had just met.
In East Africa, wrecked five cars, stayed in a Masai village mud hut, almost got trampled by elephants, got stuck in a dry river bed and in the Serengeti (started walking at night, lost, after almost running over a pride of lions),where he and Mrs. Raptor got rescued by a drunk policeman and doctor and stayed in another mud hut -- all the while screwed up on powerful African ganja.
Stayed at two jungle camps on the Peruvian Amazon, bartered with a Yagua indian chief for a poison-tipped arrow blowgun, and got drunk with a bunch of Japanese from Japan who were listening to a tape of one them negotiating with an Argentine hooker.
Rolled van off the road and down a hill in Big Bear.
While partying with buddies before the Long Beach Grand Prix, got launched from a 14-foot high scaffolding, blowing out knee.
Got thrown out of a Pasadena Chamber of Commerce breakfast for telling a sexist joke (it wasn't so bad.)
Almost got kicked out of the altar boys for setting the altar on fire just before high mass.
Got kicked out of the Boy Scouts for hiding behind a bush and ambushing the scoutmaster's son (he was a real weenie) with water balloons -- one merit badge short of Eagle Scout.
Almost got kicked out of high school just before graduation for starting a fire in a trash can in the bathroom.
Almost got fired as a boxboy for losing control of 47 shopping carts, which ran through a plate glass window into the store, knocking over a fat lady.
Pledge class got his fraternity suspended for stealing the religious fraternity's neon sign, hanging it from the campus clock tower, chaining a rival fraternity member to his bed, and putting him, his bed, and his VW Beetle in the campus reflecting pool.
The hood flew off his Corvair on the freeway and sailed neatly through the passenger side windshield of a moving van behind him.
On the first night in the Air Force, drunk, fell backward into a reflecting pool with a girl he had just met.
In East Africa, wrecked five cars, stayed in a Masai village mud hut, almost got trampled by elephants, got stuck in a dry river bed and in the Serengeti (started walking at night, lost, after almost running over a pride of lions),where he and Mrs. Raptor got rescued by a drunk policeman and doctor and stayed in another mud hut -- all the while screwed up on powerful African ganja.
Stayed at two jungle camps on the Peruvian Amazon, bartered with a Yagua indian chief for a poison-tipped arrow blowgun, and got drunk with a bunch of Japanese from Japan who were listening to a tape of one them negotiating with an Argentine hooker.
Rolled van off the road and down a hill in Big Bear.
While partying with buddies before the Long Beach Grand Prix, got launched from a 14-foot high scaffolding, blowing out knee.
Got thrown out of a Pasadena Chamber of Commerce breakfast for telling a sexist joke (it wasn't so bad.)
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 59,373
Likes: 1,617
From: La Crescenta, CA
The luggage compartment lid (like a hood) flew up then off on the freeway and sailed neatly through the passenger side windshield of a moving van in back of me. (The moving van driver was freaked.)
The front end would start shaking uncontrollably for no apparent reason and I'd have to hit the brakes hard.
The steering would come loose from the steering box and I could spin the steering wheel with the car going in a straight line.
All the wiring in the car caught on fire.
I had to take off the distributor cap and sand the points before I could start it up in the morning.
I went through about 15 batteries.
The brakes failed in an intersection and I T-boned a camper with two really old people in it, knocking it on its side. All their clothes, dishes, etc. flew out the back and into the street, only to get run over by heavy traffic.
I fried several clutches.
The mount holding the driver's seat broke, for no apparent reason, and It fell into the back seat with me on the freeway.
The engine caught on fire twice because the carburetors were flooding with gas.
A wheel coming off (three times) for no apparent reason.
The distributor wires were forever popping off the spark plugs.
This doesn't count any of the stupid things I did to it as a kid, like spinning it out down a hill in the rain and into the mud, driving through the garage door drunk (twice), getting chased by the cops after a drag race and getting caught hiding under a pile of magazines.
Or the things that weren't my or its fault, like a lady losing control of her car and crashing into me in the rain, a motorcycle rear ending me and throwing the rider over my roof and hood (he wasn't seriously injured), a bus backing into me, a bag of cement getting dropped on the roof from the third floor of a construction project (fortunately it was parked).
The front end would start shaking uncontrollably for no apparent reason and I'd have to hit the brakes hard.
The steering would come loose from the steering box and I could spin the steering wheel with the car going in a straight line.
All the wiring in the car caught on fire.
I had to take off the distributor cap and sand the points before I could start it up in the morning.
I went through about 15 batteries.
The brakes failed in an intersection and I T-boned a camper with two really old people in it, knocking it on its side. All their clothes, dishes, etc. flew out the back and into the street, only to get run over by heavy traffic.
I fried several clutches.
The mount holding the driver's seat broke, for no apparent reason, and It fell into the back seat with me on the freeway.
The engine caught on fire twice because the carburetors were flooding with gas.
A wheel coming off (three times) for no apparent reason.
The distributor wires were forever popping off the spark plugs.
This doesn't count any of the stupid things I did to it as a kid, like spinning it out down a hill in the rain and into the mud, driving through the garage door drunk (twice), getting chased by the cops after a drag race and getting caught hiding under a pile of magazines.
Or the things that weren't my or its fault, like a lady losing control of her car and crashing into me in the rain, a motorcycle rear ending me and throwing the rider over my roof and hood (he wasn't seriously injured), a bus backing into me, a bag of cement getting dropped on the roof from the third floor of a construction project (fortunately it was parked).