Well guys I dont know if anyone has dealt with this type of stuff before, but I got a phone call yesterday that a fellow pilot jumped off a bridge and ended his life yesterday. He had a wife and two kids, I could not believe it.

I work as our Airline's Union Rep for all of our F/Os in Newark and he was recently terminated for an issue he had with another captain while up at altitude. He called me every day,multiple times a day for about a month while his hearings where going on. Anyway during his termination hearing he was crying and kept telling me how he didnt know what he was going to do, how he had two kids, etc etc..........and I told him I was sorry I wish there was more we could do, and he needed to file a grievance etc, and we would try and get his job back.

After that, I selfishly went on my way and did not reach out to him to see how things were going, and if he needed help or had any questions, I just assumed if he needed anything from me, he would have called like he usually did.

I dunno, the saddest thing is,he didn't have the best reputation, he was a little abrasive, but harmless ,he meant well after and just had some bad luck with work. I know it matters little now to dwell on it, but would it have killed me to call the guy up once in a while and see how he was doing?, I am not saying I could have done anything to save him, but at least I could have said that I tried and I reached out as not only his Union rep, but as a fellow pilot, I dunno I just can't believe someone would throw themselves off a ****ing bridge, two kids and a wife, what the **** must be going through your head?

Anyway I figured I would at least share this with someone before I go ****ing crazy.

 

Know this. It's not your fault.

He's responsible for his own actions. You didn't push him off that bridge.

Unfortunately we always question ourselves when something like this happens. You have your own life to live and I'd say that NEXT time, you'll probably be a little more sensitive to something like this because you know what MIGHT happen. But that's all we can do.

We had a co-worker shoot himself in the parking lot back in June. I was on vacation at the time and the co-worker was an engineer. He was having issues at home, he shared that with some folks at work...but no one ever realized how that issue could ever result in his decision to end his life. He called his wife at 2:30pm...she didn't answer...it went to Voicemail and he didn't leave a message. They believe he shot himself shortly after that. Many say if his wife had answered, he may be still alive. Who knows... Weeks after, many folks were heard saying, "Wish I knew him better." "Wish I had asked about his life more."

It's easier for us to reflect. Important thing here is that we learn from it and then put it into practice.

In a really weird way...this unfortunate incident will help you. We all should remember that EVERYONE fights a DIFFICULT battle...we should always be sensitive to that. Good luck!

 

thanks brotha,

 

you cant own these kind of things man. he had alot wrong in his life that you werent responsible for and you can ask 100 people if they would consider suicide if they lost there job 99 would say no way. you cant expect this shit. i remember in high school there was this kid in our little group of friends. i picked on him a few times here and there. his girlfriend broke up with him and he hung himself. i felt if i took it upon myself to give him a better quality of life maybe he wouldnt of done it. But truth is there is under lying depression and other issues there. and it takes a certain kind of person to actually go through with it. dont own his problems. you wanna help now? call the family let them know your there.

 

i had a classmate about 3-4 months ago decide to hang himself.
its always after the incedent happens that you realize the little differences you could have done. i could have talked to this guy a bit more, be a bit more caring. but truthfully there isnt anything that can happen now be supportive to the family

sorry i dont have to much to say. im still in a weird place about what happened

 

It's tragic to see how someone could take away from themselves the most magical thing we all share "life". As the individual said above me this has taught you to be more sensitive to things; life lessons always come with a price. Hopefully your mind comes to ease soon.

 

Yeah, its like i wish i would have done something different, but do you think that would have made a difference ? Job or no job, its not worth
taking your life over. I have to say this guy had major problems.

 

About ten years ago a woman who worked with me killed herself.

"Worked with me" is a bit loose, however. She delivered mail and interoffice correspondence, ran errands, set up conference rooms: an all-around helper. She was always pleasant: we'd say "Hi!", "How was your weekend?", that sort of thing.

At her funeral the officiating pastor asked if anyone had any words they'd like to say. There were probably one hundred people from the office - vice-presidents and managers down to IT techs - and nobody moved. I looked around, figured that nobody else was going to say anything, so I did: how nice she was, always seemed to enjoy her job and coworkers, and so on. Her family deserved much better than the display they got at the services.

I had no idea that she was feeling so low, and would gladly have lent a sympathetic ear or done whatever else was in my power to have helped her, had I known. We're all busy, but never too busy for that.

The problem, of course, is that she never let anybody (at work, at least) know what she was feeling.

It's a shame.

 

Not your fault. Could you be a better human being? Of course. But that is not why this fellow chose to do it. He had to be badly unbalanced to feel his career = his life.

 

you cant really blame ur self for his passing, u did what you could and what u thought was right at the moment, which was counseling and a shoulder.
nothing at the moment u were talking to him let u to believe he was gonna do what he did.

what u can do probably is take the red cross to his survivors(wife,kids,mother, father).
i believe they have counseling for cases lk this.