All of us that have lost someone close feel that way. I lost two very good friends in high school that way. You can bet I felt like I should have done more. One made jokes about killing himself and everyone laughed with him about it. Then he did it and no one was laughing afterwards. Another one never even said she was unhappy. She just pulled a gun out of her purse and splattered her brains all over her boyfriend.

More recently my brother in law with a great job, 3 kids and a wife killed himself.

We always question ourselves. It's hard and it hurts but the truth is that it was their choice. Always a stupid choice and a wrong choice but THEIR choice. What you are feeling is normal. The bottom line is that there is almost no likelyhood that you could have done anything to change things.

I don't want this to sound cold or mean but a union employee dosn't lose a job over a minor thing. This means he likely had a pattern of making bad choices. He just made a much worse one. Good people do sometimes make bad choices. Sadly he didn't see a way out and nothing you could have said would have changed that.

 

That's very sad.

 

I feel bad for the wife and kids. I'm very NON sympathetic to those that off themselves. We all have bad times in our lives. People always come to the defense of the deceased by saying "oh, he had it rough," blah blah blah. Which one of us hasn't?

Cowards way out, leaving his wife and kids alone, I don't feel sorry for him, and IMHO, neither should you. I would call his wife, and see if they need anything, but I won't shed a tear for someone that does this.

Before anyone flames me, I've dealt with this exact thing, three times. One girl slit her wrists, one girl ate a bottle of pills, and one guy drove into a tree at 100mph (on purpose.) All of the above were closer than co-workers.

There was nothing you could have known, done, or should have done. Don't even think about beating yourself up about it. Go home, hug your wife 5 times, and be glad you have a happy life. I don't for one minute let others' misfortune dim my sun of a life, and neither should you.

 

I was going to reply to this thread, but airgate pretty much said exactly what I was thinking in his first post.

It's tragic and I feel sorry for his family and for all of those that are affected by his actions, but it's not your fault. He made his own decisions.

 

Not your fault. I very serously doubt you could have helped him. Sorry though to hear of his suecide.

 

I'll say this, everyone in this thread is right. This in no way your fault. Unless he called you and said "I need help", there's nothing you could've done.

My gf [now ex] jumped off a bridge as well and survived. She fractured her C4 and C5 vertebra, and the doctors were unsure if she'd ever walk again. She also suffered a ton of water damage and had to go through several emergency surgeries. She was in the ICU for about 3 months before finally being upgraded to stable condition and moved out She was released about 3 months after and was doing physio for another 6 months after that.

After she had her halo removed and could do everything normally again, y'know what she did? She called me to meet up with her and she blamed me for everything. She said I pushed her to make the decision. I was the last person to see and talk to her before the incident and after a year of not talking to her, she comes out and tells me this. I loved this girl more than life itself and I couldn't believe it. Now she had ruined my life. I carried that guilt around with me for YEARS before I finally got over it not to long ago.

I know now it was never my fault and that she CHOSE to try to take her own life, I did not FORCE her to make that decision. Whenever something like this happens, people wll always reflect, but at the end of day remember that everybody is always responsible for their own actions.

 

What a psycho bitch.

 

Being out of work sometimes feels like the end of the world. Best wishes to his wife and kids.

 

 

It's definitely not your fault as everyone had said, but I do understand how you feel.

I feel sorry for the guy but angry as well that he left his kids and wife. Not only did he end his own life, but also significantly affected 3 other lives. It's very sad... a word pathetic would describe those who end their lives.