What did your mom or dad pass on to you...

My mom's pearls of wisdom:

1. When I wanted something: "People in hell want ice water!"
2. When I wished for something: "Wish in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one fills up faster!"
3. When I'd say "I should have...[insert whatever here]: "Should have killed a bird doesn't make a pot of soup."

 

Mother:
"Lincon freed the slaves, but forgot mothers!"
"Cry me a river!"
"I'll give you somthing to cry about!"

 

My old man told me a lot of things, but only two stick out. Lesson; don't overload your kids minds with too much philosophical nonsense
Anyhow, they were:

1) Never say "I want" Always say "I would like"
2) Never disclose private dealings/occurrences in family life with those around you. What goes on at home, stays at home.

Def'n no humour to those two, however these are things I will be passing on to my kids as well.
Asif

 

don't get caught! If you do, I know nothing!

 

Me: Dad,,, could I have a ride to school today?

Dad: Son,,, when I was your age, I had to walk to school in the snow,,, up hill,,,, both ways!