Think of things that are "big" in terms of either money or how they may alter life as you know it. For instance, your significant other wants something (car, new house, pet, baby, etc.) and you feel very strongly against whatever it is. Keep in mind that whatever this "thing" is that's wanted, it's very important to your S.O.

Do you:
a) stick to your guns and insist it's a no-go
b) give in - after all, it is important to your S.O.
c) somehow find a compromise (if one exists)

Discuss!

 

Things change.

Let me say that again, things change.

Think back to a year ago, were you exactly like you are now? Did you wan the exact same things out of life? Now think back to 5 years ago, the difference should be HUGE.

With the marriage of "things change" and "compromise", anything is possible.

 

It all depends on what it is, IMO and if this is something that you have been against from the start, they knew that when they married you but expected you to change. For example, if you don't want kids, your spouse knew this but married you anyway, but now wants them.. I say stick to you guns. Again, it all depends on what it is and just how strongly you feel about it.

 

My wife and I have always kept our finances separate. When we want something together, then we have to talk and work things out. If either of us want something that can be kept separate from the "family" commitments, then the other stays out of it. If it doesn't affect us as a "couple" or a family, we just go out and do it or buy it. If one needs the other's money or permission (if it will impact both), then if one says no, then it doesn't go.

 

C first but if there is no way then B

 

After almost 35 years of marriage I have found that C works the best. Hope it can be a win-win for both of you.

 

Are you talking about a gift or something else?

In any case, I think it's important to compromise. Otherwise, it becomes a "win" or "lose" situation.

 

i think you should just try it once, maybe you'll like it. just relax and don't tense up.

 

[QUOTE=mvf4s,Dec 6 2004, 08:35 AM] i think you should just try it once, maybe you'll like it.

 

It all depends on what it is.

If it's a car, then it's something you can compramise. I mean if he wants like a porsche and you can't afford it. then by all means laugh in his face. Oh and if he wants you to get rid of the S.. again I ask you Laugh in his face. Then again we all won't let you get rid of it!

If it's a baby, then ((just for example)) You don't want one and he does. Well you should have spoken about this before you got married. Don't give in, if you are not ready for it. You shouldn't just have a baby just because he wants one. Talk it through and make him understand your reasoning behind not having one... just yet.

A Pet can be talked about. If you have cats and unless he plans on getting a couple of cat eatting dogs then you can come to an agreement.

A new house.. again talked about. But goes up with the Porsche comment. If he wants a $500K house and you can only afford a $150K then obviously that's a big NO!