when to call a girl
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,357
Likes: 490
I've heard everything in my 32 years of being a bachelor, damn near everything.
Yes women want a challenge. You wanna know why? Because if they look good, they have been hit on/asked out their entire life. Guys are nice to them constantly, and they just can't decipher a good guy or a piece of shite. This is because many men can be very deceptive. They play the game until they get what they want (laid) and then they change, and bounce.
The reason many men pour out their soul a little bit is because they are the ones who have to do all the work. When they finally catch one (a number, a date, etc) they are so happy after all the work (a night, a day, a week, a month, and for some years) that they are stoked to finally talk to someone one on one. They also want to show this person what they have inside as a way to peer through all the superficial bs. Women just have more choices in this world when it comes to dating. It's a dumb game that too many play but the reality is you play or you'll be by yourself for life unless you get lucky and find a needle in a haystack. I can understand why they are like this, the beautiful ones. Everyone kisses their behind so they are looking for a guy that doesn't do that, but is still a gentleman.
So don't buy any gifts for at least the first few months, don't give her more than a couple of compliments either.
Dating is very difficult these days. Many women (read, not all!) pull a double standard on men. They expect the man to be oldschool. You know, ask them out, call them, take them out, pay, etc. At the same time many of them want to be the boss. You can't have it both ways, well actually you can (most guys let them get away with it), but it just won't be me. In fact, many women I've dated are like puppies. They'll get away with as much as you let them instead of acting right from the get go. They are right though, they want a challenge. A true challenge would be them asking you out, but that rarely happens regardless of what you look like.
So you really have 2 options here depending on the woman. If she gets asked out a lot, then you are in for it. Don't wait 3 days to call, wait a week. When you first call her, make sure it ain't on the weekend. Spend no more than 5 minutes on that phone call. Arrange dinner or a fun activity (shooting pool, something) and get off the damn phone. This is the acting phase, you have to become an actor. You really want to talk to her on the phone and find out what she is all about, but don't. You really want to see how she is without spending a bunch of $ on dates, tough, you have to. The phone is your enemy when first getting to know a woman. It's a weed out tool that she uses. Don't leave messages, and call very irregularly. Use the phone to make dates and nothing else for at least the first month. If she returns a call or just feels like calling on the weekend, don't pick up the phone (make sure you have caller id) and don't return the message until after the weekend. You have to give her the impersonation that you are busy, the cool guy who always has plans and is wanted
Sad but true.
The other option is be real, no acting. Just be yourself. Call her when you want, talk, etc. Don't play any games, don't worry about being a challenge, be yourself, just make sure you are a gentleman. For some, not playing games and going through all the bs is the only way they can roll. At least you'll have pride in yourself that you didn't act, be fake, or play games at the end of the day. You dealt straight up, if she didn't take notice, then don't sweat it and move on. Let her find some guy that treats her like crap.
In my own personal experience I have found most women to be fake, care too much what others think, always need a challenge, or more importantly someone who treats them like crap. Because that is a challenge to many of them. Most guys kiss their butt so who do they end up with? The total prick that treats them like dirt, and they keep coming back for more. Many of the others I've dated want to control me, or the relationship but still expect me to pay for everything, call them, ask them out, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I have met a few women that were women in my lifetime. I mean a real woman. But everytime I've met one of them, they are taken. Some guy started dating her, and found out real quick that she was cool as ice and snatched up her up, off the market for good. Just remember that all relationships fail until that magic one where you fall in love, and everything is quite nice. Let's say you've dated 50 girls in your lifetime and are single, what is the probability of you working out with the next one comparatively? Like someone said, they are on an interview. Don't cut them any slack when getting to know them but still be a gentleman. Keep your distance, stay tight lipped about your life (don't spill your guts), and take it very slow. Keep an open mind, don't spend too much time on anyone until they prove to you they are really worth it. Many women get bothered too much by the guys they are dating, so be the one guy who leaves her alone, until you have a date. All is fair in love and war. If you want to eventually be dedicated and find that one right woman, be prepared to go through hell to find her, because in all honesty, that is the reality.
People don't like hearing the truth, but it's true
Good luck.
Yes women want a challenge. You wanna know why? Because if they look good, they have been hit on/asked out their entire life. Guys are nice to them constantly, and they just can't decipher a good guy or a piece of shite. This is because many men can be very deceptive. They play the game until they get what they want (laid) and then they change, and bounce.
The reason many men pour out their soul a little bit is because they are the ones who have to do all the work. When they finally catch one (a number, a date, etc) they are so happy after all the work (a night, a day, a week, a month, and for some years) that they are stoked to finally talk to someone one on one. They also want to show this person what they have inside as a way to peer through all the superficial bs. Women just have more choices in this world when it comes to dating. It's a dumb game that too many play but the reality is you play or you'll be by yourself for life unless you get lucky and find a needle in a haystack. I can understand why they are like this, the beautiful ones. Everyone kisses their behind so they are looking for a guy that doesn't do that, but is still a gentleman.
So don't buy any gifts for at least the first few months, don't give her more than a couple of compliments either.
Dating is very difficult these days. Many women (read, not all!) pull a double standard on men. They expect the man to be oldschool. You know, ask them out, call them, take them out, pay, etc. At the same time many of them want to be the boss. You can't have it both ways, well actually you can (most guys let them get away with it), but it just won't be me. In fact, many women I've dated are like puppies. They'll get away with as much as you let them instead of acting right from the get go. They are right though, they want a challenge. A true challenge would be them asking you out, but that rarely happens regardless of what you look like.
So you really have 2 options here depending on the woman. If she gets asked out a lot, then you are in for it. Don't wait 3 days to call, wait a week. When you first call her, make sure it ain't on the weekend. Spend no more than 5 minutes on that phone call. Arrange dinner or a fun activity (shooting pool, something) and get off the damn phone. This is the acting phase, you have to become an actor. You really want to talk to her on the phone and find out what she is all about, but don't. You really want to see how she is without spending a bunch of $ on dates, tough, you have to. The phone is your enemy when first getting to know a woman. It's a weed out tool that she uses. Don't leave messages, and call very irregularly. Use the phone to make dates and nothing else for at least the first month. If she returns a call or just feels like calling on the weekend, don't pick up the phone (make sure you have caller id) and don't return the message until after the weekend. You have to give her the impersonation that you are busy, the cool guy who always has plans and is wanted
Sad but true.The other option is be real, no acting. Just be yourself. Call her when you want, talk, etc. Don't play any games, don't worry about being a challenge, be yourself, just make sure you are a gentleman. For some, not playing games and going through all the bs is the only way they can roll. At least you'll have pride in yourself that you didn't act, be fake, or play games at the end of the day. You dealt straight up, if she didn't take notice, then don't sweat it and move on. Let her find some guy that treats her like crap.
In my own personal experience I have found most women to be fake, care too much what others think, always need a challenge, or more importantly someone who treats them like crap. Because that is a challenge to many of them. Most guys kiss their butt so who do they end up with? The total prick that treats them like dirt, and they keep coming back for more. Many of the others I've dated want to control me, or the relationship but still expect me to pay for everything, call them, ask them out, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I have met a few women that were women in my lifetime. I mean a real woman. But everytime I've met one of them, they are taken. Some guy started dating her, and found out real quick that she was cool as ice and snatched up her up, off the market for good. Just remember that all relationships fail until that magic one where you fall in love, and everything is quite nice. Let's say you've dated 50 girls in your lifetime and are single, what is the probability of you working out with the next one comparatively? Like someone said, they are on an interview. Don't cut them any slack when getting to know them but still be a gentleman. Keep your distance, stay tight lipped about your life (don't spill your guts), and take it very slow. Keep an open mind, don't spend too much time on anyone until they prove to you they are really worth it. Many women get bothered too much by the guys they are dating, so be the one guy who leaves her alone, until you have a date. All is fair in love and war. If you want to eventually be dedicated and find that one right woman, be prepared to go through hell to find her, because in all honesty, that is the reality.
People don't like hearing the truth, but it's true
Good luck.
Registered User
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,220
Likes: 0
From: San Jose
Originally Posted by Blue Honda girl,Jan 23 2006, 05:08 PM
I guess I'm old fashioned.
I thought the guy was always supposed to ask for the girl's number?
I thought the guy was always supposed to ask for the girl's number?
Moderator
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 109,425
Likes: 1,648
From: SJC
Once again, when it comes to laying pipe, I agree totally with Tommy.
Put simply, women want it all. . . but the catch is, they want it NOW. Every man knows this simply cannot happen. You must use this paradox, and the subsequent dysfunction associated with it, to your advantage.
Go forth and conquor.
Put simply, women want it all. . . but the catch is, they want it NOW. Every man knows this simply cannot happen. You must use this paradox, and the subsequent dysfunction associated with it, to your advantage.
Go forth and conquor.
Registered User
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 17,220
Likes: 0
From: San Jose
Originally Posted by 8D_In_Trunk,Jan 25 2006, 03:18 PM
Once again, when it comes to laying pipe, I agree totally with Tommy.
Put simply, women want it all. . . but the catch is, they want it NOW. Every man knows this simply cannot happen. You must use this paradox, and the subsequent dysfunction associated with it, to your advantage.
Go forth and conquor.
Put simply, women want it all. . . but the catch is, they want it NOW. Every man knows this simply cannot happen. You must use this paradox, and the subsequent dysfunction associated with it, to your advantage.
Go forth and conquor.
Registered User
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,958
Likes: 0
Wow, another hilarious thread! 
If she's pretty, and you don't call her when you say you will, you're gone. Oh she might chat with you and string you along for a while, maybe even get you to buy her dinner, but there will be no genuine interest.
I've gone out with smart guys, dumb guys, hot guys, boring guys, whatever. I married a man who was interested in the things I was (horses and cars), he sent me flowers and cards ever week. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, like what's with this guy? He can't be this nice all the time can he? Well yep, he was.
Unfortunately for him, he'd never met a woman like me...
If she's pretty, and you don't call her when you say you will, you're gone. Oh she might chat with you and string you along for a while, maybe even get you to buy her dinner, but there will be no genuine interest.
I've gone out with smart guys, dumb guys, hot guys, boring guys, whatever. I married a man who was interested in the things I was (horses and cars), he sent me flowers and cards ever week. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, like what's with this guy? He can't be this nice all the time can he? Well yep, he was.
Unfortunately for him, he'd never met a woman like me...