There is no easy way. Expressing your condolences and sorrow is the best way to express your feelings to the family.

And I am sorry for your loss, such a terrible thing to lose a friend like that.

 

This is such a horrible thing to go through, my thoughts are with you!

Many years ago when my parents moved into a new township they met a wonderful man who was very helpful to them as they had some complex land dealings that had to be sorted out. Eventually my parents became very close friends to this man and his wife, and then it grew to both of our families being very close, and I mean very close, I even dated one of the daughters for a while.

Out of the blue this family lost their oldest son, he killed himself at the factory where he worked, whch was owned and run by his father-in-law. The situation was just flat out nasty. Pain was felt by everyone, but to me the thing that got to me the most was the overwhelming self inflicted guilt suffered by the parents. The one "What if we had only" What if we had known" What if we had said" What if we had done" and on and on and on... And to be honest, I'm not completely sure they have ever gotten over it. The loss will be hard on everyone, but the loss will be extremly difficult and unique for the parents, especially for the Mom!

As far as how you deal with it, you deal with it like any other death, you support the family and friends the best you can. I see the only difference with it being a death by suicide is you pay extra attention to the parents as they will be in a very private type of hell.

Good luck!

 

Sorry for the loss of your friend Dex.

There's a lot of good advice and wisdom in these responses. I don't think I can add to it much. But I did experience this with someone extremely close to me, and it's just like any other passing when it comes to being consoled. Just think of it that way and don't put extra significance on the how's and why's.

Phil.

 

Very good point. I always thought of it as only a selfish act, but this is very true.

 

Sorry to hijack Dex, but...

That's a pretty cynical statement. And very far off the mark in my opinion.

 

I was stating that I now have a different view of it...one I really hadn't considered in the past.

 

Suicide is an extreme way to end the pain that a person is experiencing. Having lost two close family members to suicide, I cannot express the deep pain a family experiences when this happens. Those people are not selfish, they are in horrific pain that is very real. Their illness is chronic, uncurable and just as real as if it were a chronic disease like diabetes. Unfortunately our science is not advanced enough to provide symptomatic treatment. Emotional anguish is experienced individually and generally is not seen by the general public. These people are usually very passionate, sensitive and loving people who for whatever reasons are unable to escape the pain of life. My heart breaks for this young man's family and friends and his family needs to be consoled as if it were a natural loss.

 

Ok, no problem. I was just caught off guard by that.

Sorry again Dex.

 

I couldn't agree more. Well put Val. I'm not sure about the incurable part though. See my post above. God can do things for us that we could never do for ourselves.

 

That is absolutely true. I am not sure why your friend lost hope, perhaps he is the only one that will ever know, but it sometimes happens and others have no idea there was ever an issue.

My thoughts are with you.