Joke of the Day Part III Vintage Style
06-25-2021, 09:15 AM
#1341
The village trustees could not afford a speed camera so they put up a sign that said: 'Slow down Old People's Home'.
It had no effect. At the next meeting they decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign that said : 'Danger Children at Play'
The result was no different. Then the chairman had a brainstorm and suggested they try a sign that said : 'Nudist Colony'.
As a result cars and trucks began to crawl through the village.
It had no effect. At the next meeting they decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign that said : 'Danger Children at Play'
The result was no different. Then the chairman had a brainstorm and suggested they try a sign that said : 'Nudist Colony'.
As a result cars and trucks began to crawl through the village.
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dlq04 (06-25-2021)
06-25-2021, 09:38 AM
#1342
Registered User
A woman goes into the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her
grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod
and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway?.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404
reel and 10-LB. test line.
It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only
$20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound
of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way
the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me
the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call
is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.
She just paid the bill and left!!!
grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over
to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod
and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway?.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404
reel and 10-LB. test line.
It's a good all-around combination and it's on sale this week for only
$20.00."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound
of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.
At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way
the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted.
Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me
the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"
He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call
is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50.
She just paid the bill and left!!!
06-25-2021, 01:48 PM
#1343
Two women in an elevator, the old lady says to the woman wearing a fur coat, “nice perfume”, the woman replies, “it’s Channel No.5, $200 an ounce”, the old lady let’s out a long nasty fart and says, “ broccoli, 49 cents a pound!”
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Scooterboy (06-25-2021)
06-25-2021, 02:53 PM
#1344
07-06-2021, 06:34 AM
#1345
https://phys.org/news/2021-07-castra...aging-dna.html
New research shows that castration of male sheep delays aging of DNA compared to intact males
So castration could lead to longer life, but you likely won't care.
07-09-2021, 07:16 AM
#1347
07-10-2021, 08:06 AM
#1348
07-18-2021, 10:47 AM
#1349
07-18-2021, 11:32 AM
#1350
^^ 