Is that like spilling guts--splig?

 

I liken it to the crack pipe. For some people, one hit is all it takes.

 

^ ROFLMFAO!!!
But, its true...sometimes you cab meet somone that has just that special "somthing" that your completely drawn to.

 

I met someone in a cab that I was drawn to....




Semi-seriously though, I do remember one young woman that I felt an immediate attraction to from the first time we met. (Attraction is a rather weak word for what I was feeling. It was more like a compulsion and addiction and lust, a combination that I had never felt before or since to that level of intensity. It was a presence unto itself.)
We had a torrid affair for six months. I think that we both knew that there was no future but it was magic while it lasted. siiiiigh.

 

When you talk to him, he doesn't listen? Don't talk to him, ask him questions. Make him think. Ask him what-ifs. Lead him to come to the right conclusion, (whatever that is) and he will believe he figured it out himself, even though you guided him.

 

Absolutely.

Sometimes thats what it takes.

 

Steve,

Personally, I'd stick with the relationship if I were your friend. We all have life experiences that have tainted us. Your buddy's love interest has been hurt in the past and is understandably gun shy. I think this is actually healthy and normal. She is being cautious and doesn't want to be hurt again. Divorce is painful and she has felt it. I admire her for recognizing this and at least being honest with your friend. Over time, she will learn to trust again. I'd hate to see him pass up what could be a soulmate because she has not yet reached "perfection".

Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws and are all working through things that have affected us. I believe this woman will be a much "deeper" relationship for him because she has experienced lifes crap. If he wants a smooth relationship with someone who is too perfect and has not experienced life on life's terms then he'll be destined to having shallow relationships for the rest of his life. Naturally he needs to be careful and continually assess the situation. As long as she is open and honest with him and she is seeking counseling, then he should carry forward with this relationship and see where it leads.

I'm not sure where she is with her divorce recovery. For some people, 2 years would be more than sufficient if they work the recovery program and get counseling. Others never get over it. As Jeff said, some issues will linger longer than others. If there was infidelity in her former marriage that will take a long time to get over. But she can do it. Life is a process; a journey. If we wait till all the stars are aligned we'll never get to experience what life has to offer. Today is all we can affect. Don't look too far into the future. Today is a day he can be enjoying his new friendship/love interest. He should do that. My .02.

 

Ohio Racer knows of what he speaks. How's your buddy, Steve? Still bugging you?

 

Damaged goods.

She needs to get her head on straight before she can have a meaningful relationship.

Your friend should go into "coast" mode. Be friends but don't have the wrong expectations.

 

If the lady doesn't know what she wants- that translates to not loving the guy. She is just hanging on until she gets a better gig.

What she does not care about is that she is hurting the guy and putting his life on hold. It is not right. (personally been there)