Joke
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 365
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From: sugarland
ok, here's a new one......
One day, a man dies and finds himself in Hell! when he start feeling sad and worry, a demon came up to him and greet him!
Demon: why you looking so sad?
man: i am in Hell, man!
Demon: don't feel bad, hell is not that bad! actually is very fun! are you a
drinking man?
man: yes, i am! i love to drink!
Demon: than you will love monday! monday is all you can drink day. we have
beer, wine, and all kind of wine cooler. drink till you drop, buddy!!
man: wow, that sounds great!
Demon: ok, do you like to smoke?
man: you bet your ass, i am a big smoker!
Demon: well, you will love tuesday. we have cigars from all over the world, we
can smoke our freaking lungs out!! if you have cancer? no problem,
we already dead!!!!
man: awesome!
Demon: you gamble?
man: loves it!!
Demon: you will love wednesday! wed is gambling day, we have blackjack,
crabs, horse race, you name it! and of course poker table! Tom, D,
Johnny and others will be here too!
man: cool, i have never play poker with Tom before! i never knew Hell is
such a swinging place! this place is neat!!!
Demon: see, i told you so!! by the way, are you Gay?
man: Uh, hell no!!
Demon: Ooooh, you gonna HATE thursday!!!
One day, a man dies and finds himself in Hell! when he start feeling sad and worry, a demon came up to him and greet him!
Demon: why you looking so sad?
man: i am in Hell, man!
Demon: don't feel bad, hell is not that bad! actually is very fun! are you a
drinking man?
man: yes, i am! i love to drink!
Demon: than you will love monday! monday is all you can drink day. we have
beer, wine, and all kind of wine cooler. drink till you drop, buddy!!
man: wow, that sounds great!
Demon: ok, do you like to smoke?
man: you bet your ass, i am a big smoker!
Demon: well, you will love tuesday. we have cigars from all over the world, we
can smoke our freaking lungs out!! if you have cancer? no problem,
we already dead!!!!
man: awesome!
Demon: you gamble?
man: loves it!!
Demon: you will love wednesday! wed is gambling day, we have blackjack,
crabs, horse race, you name it! and of course poker table! Tom, D,
Johnny and others will be here too!
man: cool, i have never play poker with Tom before! i never knew Hell is
such a swinging place! this place is neat!!!
Demon: see, i told you so!! by the way, are you Gay?
man: Uh, hell no!!
Demon: Ooooh, you gonna HATE thursday!!!
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 8,821
Likes: 0
From: HouStook TX
My wife sent me this joke today. I wonder why? 
A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married. She
put a want ad in the local paper that read: "HUSBAND WANTED"
Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me,
and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person." On
the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her
dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He
had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically "You're not expecting me to
consider you, are you? Just look at you----you have no legs!" The old
man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!" She snorted,
"You have no arms either!" again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat
you!" The old lady raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely. "Are
you still good in bed?" she asked. The old man smirked and said, "I rang
the doorbell didn't I?"
put a want ad in the local paper that read: "HUSBAND WANTED"
Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me,
and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person." On
the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her
dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He
had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically "You're not expecting me to
consider you, are you? Just look at you----you have no legs!" The old
man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!" She snorted,
"You have no arms either!" again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat
you!" The old lady raised her eyebrows and gazed at him intensely. "Are
you still good in bed?" she asked. The old man smirked and said, "I rang
the doorbell didn't I?"
