Top Gear is back

Tie a knot in or round your willy in case it dangles in the water. I’ve heard that there are tiny members of the catfish family that swim into your Jap’s eye and up your urethra. They fix themselves with backward facing barbs and proceed to feast on the the juicy, soft, vascular bits of your penis.
Their usual habitat is South America I think but one can’t be too careful.
Read a horrid piece this week about tropical rat mites that have established themselves in a Hackney cemetery. They enter the human body through hair follicles and gorge on blood causing unbearable itching.
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