George, did you know Stevie Wonder just bought a $14 million dollar mansion?













He bought it sight unseen.

 

Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar.

Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad. After my near fatal accident, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right." Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?" Stevie says, "Yes, I've been playing for years." Tiger says, "But—you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?" Stevie Wonder replies, "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway, and again I play the ball towards his voice." "But how do you putt?" asks Tiger. "Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball toward his voice." Tiger asks, "What's your handicap?" Stevie says, "Well, actually—I'm a scratch golfer." Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime." Stevie replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?" Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?" Stevie Wonder says, "Midnight. Pick a night."

 

 

What's the best thing about Switzerland?










I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

 

I was hanging around on the corner the other day, and somebody threw a bunch of OMEGA-3 at me.

 

Luckily, the bruises and scratches were super fish oil.