The Doc says:

Yes.



The Doc says:

A question as old as time itself. Our final destination upon demise can be determined by a number of factors. Depending upon religious, personal or political beliefs, one can argue that the after-life... or preperation for thereof... can have a disturbing effect on our functions as a human being. Furthermore, the question of our final destination is often accompanied by the ponderance of our actual purpose in life... also known as the "Why are we here?" dilemma.

To better answer the question of where we go when we die, I will first have to put to rest many of the rumored resiences for our souls.

1. There is no heaven- contrary to popular belief, this place known as 'Heaven' does not actually exist. Heaven, by its 6th definition, is referred to as 'a place or state of supreme happiness'. There in lies the controversy. For some people, a state or place of supreme happiness would involve the degredation of another individuals' state of supreme happiness, thus forming a paradox.

2. There is no Hell. Hell is described as 'a place for punishment of the wicked after death'. Apparently, the wicked are going unpunished. Repeat offenders of horrendous crimes are given chance after chance to redeem themselves, only to hurt, steal and/or kill again... thus forming a paradox.

3.There is no Purgatory. Purgatory is described as 'a condition or place of temporary punishment, suffering or expiation'. I should actually say that there is indeed a purgatory, also known as Ohio, but it is inhabited by the living, not the dead... once again, forming a paradox.

Having put these beliefs to rest, I find only three possible final resting places exist: a place for S2000 owners and enthusiasts, a place for NON-owners/NON-enthusiasts and a place for corner whores.


-Owners/Enthusiasts will go to the motherland (Japan)

NON-owners/NON-enthusiasts will go to the sub-surface area beneath Toledo, and await rebirth, only to reside in Ohio until becoming either an Owner or Enthusiast.

-Corner whores will go to the top of the Stratosphere Tower in Las Vegas, where we can piss on the world at will.

 

The Doc says:

Yes, that was back when the Doc made the first step of his final move from Las Vegas to the Jarrettsville area.


Sadly, Nobody helped...


...but the Steelers did in fact open a can of 'Whup-Ass' on the Ravens.

 

 

LMAO!!


Hey doc, how can I make lots of money while doing nothing??

 

win the lotto...

 

Are you the doc?? I dont think so!!


Good idea though.......

 

What should I do about Raptor being so upset???

 

The Doc says:

The concept of 'something for nothing' is not a new one. In dear Spa's case, the goal is moderate monetary gain in return for little if any effort. Oddly enough, throughout time man has gone to great lengths in order to get something for nothing. Often, these massive efforts are not even rewarded when said plan fails. Ironically the something for nothing ends up being what is given rather than received by the interested party/parties. Occasionally, one may find an unprescedented task that is quite rewarding for little effort, however these tasks do not remain secret for long and soon the effort:reward ratio evens out if not reversing completely.


There is only one time tested way of receiving maximum compensation for the minimum effort...

Become an Amway distributor

 

Thanks for the info doc....Doesn't help me much....but thanks anyways

 

Mother has poked the sleeping reptile from the Jurrasic period and would now like to subdue him. Ancient lore tells us that music will calm the savage beast, yet with todays music that seems unlikely. Alcohol is considered to be a depressant, but often seems to only feed an individuals rage. There are a number of pharmacutical possibilities, but these too can often have an adverse effect.

One must take into consideration the career that the enraged individual has chosen to pursue. This can often be a reflection of his/her likes/dislikes. The Raptor has a penchant for geological exploration mixed with environmental consciousness. If one looks deep enough, they can see through the mascarade right through to his hippie skeletal structure and his 'make love not war' frame of mind. Beware, pointing this out to him may only enrage him further, it is to be avoided at all costs!!!



Having taken all of this into consideration, the answer you seek is PAINFULLY clear...



Offer him both a Coke, AND a smile. this should indeed subdue hiim nicely.