Scientists concerned with the bird flu becoming an epidemic here, are watching the patterns of sick birds flying into the United States.








They're worried about ill eagle immigration.

 

Sign seen in the astronaut's locker room:



"OUT TO LAUNCH"

 

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

 

:rimshot: X20

 

This guy is driving his car down a highway when he starts to hear noises
coming from his engine. He decides he can make it to the next town. When he gets there, he takes it to the local mechanic. The mechanic tells him to come back in a half hour and he'll tell him what the problem is.
Across the street is an ice cream shop. So the guy decides to get a huge vanilla ice cream cone. After a half hour goes by, he returns to the mechanic.
"So, what's the problem?" he asks.
"Well," says the mechanic, "it looks like you blew a seal!"
The guy looks surprised. "No, I didn't! Its ice cream, I swear!"

 

Time to ban Jason until the meds arrive..........

 

Morticians make you feel dead gorgeous.

 

American beer is like sex in a canoe .... fukcing close to water.

 

 

The shy stripper couldn't bare it on stage.