Thirteen years ago today my friend was killed on the streets of Toronto. I try not to dwell on the exact date but was reminded this morning. I still feel sad for his partner, his family and everything he could have been.

 

I think all of this brings to mind that we all need to have a will that sets exactly what we want to to happen have if/when we pass
I know its hard to comprehend our passing but if has to be done.
I set up my will a month or so ago after I was in the hospital and I feel good about it. I don’t have a lot of material items or multi millions of dollars in the bank/stock market/ 401K but I divided it up as best I could among my Mom, sister, nephews and nieces.

I also typed out a letter containing all my passwords and accounts for all my info - and that letter isn’t to be opened until I pass.

All this will be updated every 6 months or so.

 

^ Dave you are so right. I am the executor for my sister's will, so I am getting first hand knowledge of the process, and it isn't something people think about enough while they are alive. The info on the paswords is very good, I never thought of that. Good info !

 

ugh. I need to do that. i have been saying for years too... I even have the guy I want to use just never seems to play out.

 

Yes! People tend to be uncomfortable talking about anything related to death but it’s really important.

 

You need to do that today. We don’t know what’s going tomorrow- your spouse/ significant other needs that info etc.

We just don’t think about this stuff/ we all think we are going to live past 100 etc but we aren’t.

 

The other thing I want to say is that if you have to care for a sibling/parent/niece nephew, keep track of all the expenses that you incur (bottles of aspirin, mileage to/from appointments, your time waiting etc) do that so others can’t go back you and dispute things.
My Mom went thru this when her Mom / my grandmother was going thru her last stages. 2 of my Mom’s sisters accused her of ‘stealing’ her money. When my Mom presented to the judge all the records she had, the judge looked at her 2 crap ass sisters, she said ‘have you got to be kidding me?’ You need to pay her for all this, you 2 haven’t done crap at all.’ The other sister ‘the good one’ always sent my
Mom money per month to help cover expenses (meds, clothes, getting her hair done, also for meals and other personal expenses)
Sorry to ramble but this is something that people overlook.

 

It’s funny / not funny how many things you have signed up that your partner/spouse/kids don’t have access to. Simple things like your utility accounts, cell phone accounts, newspaper accounts, even your email accounts.
It’s amazing the crap that we have that others have zero access to.

 

I have coworker who is going through this... I don't want to derail the purpose of this thread but I dread when my parents really start to go down hill... I think I'm going to have to lawyer up against my sister.

 

We are in different countries, but generally speaking your parents should have a will and an executor who will see that the will details are followed 100%. If the executor makes arbitrary decisions on their own against the will they are liable. It should be smooth process if the will is straight forward, but once lawyers get involved and people think they are owed more than they are it can get dicey.