I can't believe I found this thread so far from page 1....it's the best shite ever:


mikepaine: sorry had to help a customer
mikepaine: and she was MUCH cuter than you!
mikepaine:
HamSatan: dude...I want a spy cam goddammit
HamSatan: you shouldn't be allowed to wear lipstick at work
HamSatan: you leave trails at all the local high schools
mikepaine: HAHAHAH
HamSatan: quoted
HamSatan: fo sho

 

HamSatan: jesus
Mikepaine: no, this is one of his shunned disciples
Mikepaine: but he is in cahoots with my boss Lucifer so if you need anything just holla
11:25 AM
HamSatan: nonono
Mikepaine: lol
HamSatan: first off...have you seen my screenname?
HamSatan: secondly
Mikepaine: HAHAHAH
HamSatan: Lucifer is my car
11:30 AM
Mikepaine: I know tihs silly man!
Mikepaine: silly whore
Mikepaine: silly devil!
HamSatan: sneaky devil
Mikepaine: sneaky whore
HamSatan: dirty filthy sneaky whore
HamSatan: .....not to be confused with itchy
Mikepaine: with a silly grin
11:35 AM
HamSatan: amen to that burtha
HamSatan: brutha
HamSatan: god...I am the suckiest typer to ever have sucked

 

 

 

wtf is that supposed to mean?

 

Please note the timestamp and the lingering moments where mikey just seems to disappear



mikepaine (1:59:14 PM): read my semi rant
mikepaine (1:59:19 PM): took me 45 min to write/reserach
HamSatan (1:59:20 PM): getting there
HamSatan (1:59:24 PM): patience is a virtue
mikepaine (1:59:24 PM): does it read well?
HamSatan (1:59:34 PM): hence me not driving up to Philly to snap pics of the Italian myself
mikepaine (1:59:44 PM): HAHAHA
mikepaine (1:59:45 PM): OMG
mikepaine (1:59:45 PM): OMG
mikepaine (1:59:54 PM): there is SUCH a little hottie here
mikepaine (2:00:12 PM): I want her NOW
mikepaine (2:00:16 PM): I want to eat her!
mikepaine (2:00:20 PM): big wolf style!
mikepaine (2:00:22 PM):
HamSatan (2:04:35 PM): oh my f-in god
HamSatan (2:04:48 PM): all you need is your minivan and a bag full of candy
HamSatan (2:04:55 PM): ya jackal
HamSatan (2:11:43 PM): stop meandering the store looking for ways to brush up against her!
mikepaine (2:16:16 PM): OMG I caught myself
mikepaine (2:16:20 PM): glaring at her
mikepaine (2:16:20 PM):
HamSatan (2:19:11 PM): glaring like mean? or glaring like...you have this glossy look on your face, your balls begin to sweat and there's a string of drool hanging from your mouth but you're too engrossed to notice?
HamSatan (2:19:21 PM): heheheh specificity is your friend.
mikepaine (2:21:07 PM): like glaring that she was a stunningly beautiful gril
mikepaine (2:21:11 PM): girl!
HamSatan (2:21:52 PM): lol
HamSatan (2:22:04 PM): Is her name Weber?
HamSatan (2:22:36 PM): Is her last name Kingsford?
HamSatan (2:26:25 PM): is she afraid of matches

 

Oh! look who finally got back to me...note the timestamp.

mikepaine (2:46:51 PM): ROFL
mikepaine (2:46:52 PM): HAHAHAHA
mikepaine (2:47:01 PM): man she was a fine display of ash
mikepaine (2:47:02 PM):
HamSatan (2:49:07 PM): HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!
HamSatan (2:49:18 PM): quoted......again!

 

 

yes.. this is a normal conversation....

DarkSub Rosa (8:45:58 AM): man where are our ing donuts
HamSatan (8:46:25 AM): lol
DarkSub Rosa (8:46:37 AM): this day can't start without it
HamSatan (8:48:37 AM): must be nice
DarkSub Rosa (8:48:48 AM): i need my donut holes and my water
HamSatan (9:03:02 AM): whiner
HamSatan (9:03:04 AM): lol
DarkSub Rosa (9:03:08 AM): winner!
DarkSub Rosa (9:03:09 AM): w00t
DarkSub Rosa (9:03:20 AM): you had a typo there brother
DarkSub Rosa (9:03:24 AM): its WINNER
DarkSub Rosa (9:10:41 AM): yum donuts
HamSatan (9:13:23 AM): no typo my mongoloid friend
HamSatan (9:13:27 AM): whiner
HamSatan (9:13:29 AM): whino
HamSatan (9:13:32 AM): whiney
HamSatan (9:13:34 AM): whine
HamSatan (9:13:36 AM): to whine
DarkSub Rosa (9:13:38 AM): whitney?
DarkSub Rosa (9:13:41 AM): she's hot
HamSatan (9:13:47 AM): houston?
HamSatan (9:13:50 AM): are you daft?
DarkSub Rosa (9:13:52 AM): we have a problem
HamSatan (9:13:55 AM): she's a ing crack whore
DarkSub Rosa (9:14:03 AM): not houston dumbass
DarkSub Rosa (9:16:42 AM): whenever i'm alone with you...... (not YOU literally)
DarkSub Rosa (9:16:51 AM): you make me feel like i am whole again.. whenever im alone with you
HamSatan (9:16:56 AM): dude
HamSatan (9:16:59 AM): seriously
DarkSub Rosa (9:16:59 AM): you make me feel like i am tall again
HamSatan (9:17:07 AM): stop with the sappy crap
HamSatan (9:17:13 AM): huh?
DarkSub Rosa (9:17:14 AM): 311 bitch *slap*
HamSatan (9:17:20 AM): I know what the it is
DarkSub Rosa (9:17:21 AM): lol
HamSatan (9:17:25 AM): it's still a ing sap song
DarkSub Rosa (9:17:37 AM): fine.. *skips song on itunes*
HamSatan (9:17:57 AM): dude listen to it all you want...but you don't need to keyboard serenade me withit
DarkSub Rosa (9:18:26 AM): cover up or spread it out.. turn around , had enough, pick and choose or pass it on
DarkSub Rosa (9:19:19 AM): chevelle ok?
DarkSub Rosa (9:19:31 AM): cuz levitation is possible :-)
HamSatan (9:19:48 AM): :yawn:
DarkSub Rosa (9:19:58 AM): THATS IT..!
HamSatan (9:20:08 AM): it's not you dude
HamSatan (9:20:10 AM): oops
DarkSub Rosa (9:20:35 AM): lmfao
DarkSub Rosa (9:20:39 AM): italics kick ass
DarkSub Rosa (9:20:46 AM): w00t w00t
DarkSub Rosa (9:20:50 AM): haha
HamSatan (9:20:56 AM): caffine doesn't do it for me anymore
DarkSub Rosa (9:21:08 AM): donuts are great.. try them
DarkSub Rosa (9:21:59 AM): i need some mutha n weeeerd up
DarkSub Rosa (9:24:39 AM): big wheels keep on turning
DarkSub Rosa (9:24:44 AM): carry me home to see my kin
HamSatan (9:24:48 AM): lol
DarkSub Rosa (9:24:49 AM): singing songs about the southland
HamSatan (9:24:54 AM): I'm eating pizza
HamSatan (9:24:55 AM): lol
DarkSub Rosa (9:24:59 AM): damn pizza
DarkSub Rosa (9:25:02 AM): i want some
DarkSub Rosa (9:25:11 AM): ive been craving some good pizza
HamSatan (9:25:26 AM): Some folks are born
HamSatan (9:25:30 AM): made to wear the flag
HamSatan (9:25:37 AM): ooo that red white 'n' blue
HamSatan (9:25:48 AM): and when the band played haaaaiiiiillll to the chief
DarkSub Rosa (9:25:49 AM): oo ooooo oooooo
HamSatan (9:25:59 AM): oooo they point the cannon at yooouuu
HamSatan (9:26:01 AM): but it ain't me
DarkSub Rosa (9:26:02 AM): SWEEET HOME ALABAMA
HamSatan (9:26:04 AM): it ain't me
DarkSub Rosa (9:26:10 AM): where the skies are so bluluuuee
HamSatan (9:26:12 AM): I ain't no senator's son no
HamSatan (9:26:18 AM): it ain't me
HamSatan (9:26:22 AM): it ain't meeeeee
HamSatan (9:26:29 AM): I ain't no fortunate one
HamSatan (9:26:34 AM): lol
DarkSub Rosa (9:26:44 AM): damn thats so getting quoted