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V-Mom narrating: 3 billion 's lives ended on July 05, 2004. The survivors of the nuclear fire called www.s2ki.com V4. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against lost photo albums and "flood control." The computer which controlled the machines, Skynet, sent two Moderators back through time. Their mission: to destroy the leader of the resistance, Brantshali, my son. The first Moderator was sent to strike at me in the year 1984. It failed. The second was set to strike at Brantshali himself when he was still a child. As before, the resistance was able to send a lone warrior, a protector for Brantshali. It was just a question of which one of them would reach him first.
[ACLR8 wants to get some things from home]
The Terminator: Negative. The VTEC-MOM 1000 will definitely try to reacquire you there.
ACLR8: You sure?
The Terminator: I would.
(Insert ): A guy once told me, "Do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the ."
All us 's are sitting around a table in a small diner after having just finished breakfast. THERAPTOR agrees to pay the bill as long as everybody else pays the tip.
Cast: Mr. Pink (BBY2KS2K)
Joe (THE RAPTOR)
Eddie (ACLR8)
Mr. Blue (WESTSIDEBILLY)
Mr. Blonde (MIKES2K)
Mr. White (BRANTSHALI)
Mr. Brown (RACERCHICK)
Mr. Orange (S2000QTEE)
ACLR8
All right. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady.
Come on. Throw in a buck.
BBY2KS2K
Uh-uh. I don't tip.
ACLR8
You don't tip?
BBY2KS2K
No - I don't believe in it.
ACLR8
You don't believe in tipping?
WESTSIDEBILLY
You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
BBY2KS2K
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
(MIKES2K laughs.)
ACLR8
I don't even know a fcuking who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?
BBY2KS2K
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds.
(ACLR8 laughs.)
I mean as far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
WESTSIDEBILLY
Hey, this girl was nice.
BBY2KS2K
She was OK - but she wasn't anything special.
WESTSIDEBILLY
What's special, take you in the back and suck your dick?
(They laugh.)
ACLR8
I'd go over 12% for that.
BBY2KS2K
Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long fcukin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times
MIKES2K
Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too fcuking busy?
BBY2KS2K
Words "too fcuking busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.
ACLR8
Excuse me, Mr. BBY2KS2K - the last fcuking thing you need's another cup of coffee.
BBY2KS2K
Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.
WESTSIDEBILLY
You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?
(BBY2KS2K rubs two of his fingers together.)
BBY2KS2K
You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
BRANTSHALI
You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
BBY2KS2K
So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bullshit.
BRANTSHALI
Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.
BBY2KS2K
(pauses) Fcuk all that.
(They all laugh.)
RACERCHICK
Jesus Christ!
BBY2KS2K
Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fcuked up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fcuks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fcukin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fcukin' surprise.
S2000 QTEE
Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.
ACLR8
Hey! Leave the dollars there.
THE RAPTOR
All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?
S2000 QTEE
Mr. BBY2KS2K.
THE RAPTOR
Mr. BBY2KS2K? Why not?
S2000QTEE
He don't tip.
THE RAPTOR
He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?
S2000QTEE
He don't believe in it.
THE RAPTOR
Shut up. What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your goddamn breakfast.
BBY2KS2K
Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this.
THE RAPTOR
Never mind what you normally would do. Just cough in your goddamn buck like everybody else. Thank you
The cast:
Gozer (ACLR8)
Dr. Venkman (C-BASS) - Bill Murray
Ray Stantz (WESTSIDEBILLY) - Dan Akroyd
Egon Spengler (PL&S2K) - Harold Ramis
Winston (ZDAVE) - Ernie Hudson
The 's stand there facing their new God like Moses on Mount
Sinai. And then ACRL8 speaks to them in a voice that can be heard
throughout Metropolitan New York and parts of New Jersey.
ACLR8
SUBCREATURES! ACLR8 THE ACL8RIAN, ACLR8
THE DESTRUCTOR, VOLGUUS ZILDROHAR, THE
TRAVELLER HAS COME. CHOOSE AND PERISH.
C-BASS
(shouting to be heard)
Is he talking to us?
ZDAVE
What's he talking about? Choose what?
WESTSIDEBILLY
(to the heavens)
What do you mean "choose?" We don't
understand.
ACLR8
CHOOSE!!
PL&S2K
I think he's saying that since we're about
to be sacrificed anyway, we get to choose
the form we want him to take.
WESTSIDEBILLY
You mean if I stand here and concentrate on
the image of Roberto Clemente, ACLR8 will
appear as Roberto Clemente and wipe us out?
PL&S2K
That appears to be the case.
C-BASS
(quickly)
Don't think of anything yet. Clear your
minds. We only get one crack at this.
ACLR8
The choice is made. The Traveller has come.
C-BASS
(in a panic)
We didn't choose anything!
(to the others)
I didn't think of an image, did you?
PL&S2K
No.
They look at ZDAVE.
ZDAVE
My mind's a total void!
They all look at WESTSIDEBILLY.
WESTSIDEBILLY
(guilty)
I couldn't help it! It just popped in
there!
C-BASS
(desperately)
What? What popped in there?
WESTSIDEBILLY
(pointing)
Look!
They all turn and look to the south.
GHOSTBUSTERS POV
Looking south past Columbus Circle, they see part of something big and
white moving between the buildings accompanied by thunderous footsteps of
almost seismic proportions.
C-BASS
(desperately)
What is it? WESTSIDEBILLY, what did you think of?
BROADWAY AND 55TH
The massive white shape passes behind some buildings, offering a glimpse
of what appears to be a fat, white arm.
WESTSIDEBILLY
(babbling)
It can't be! It can't be!
COLUMBUS CIRCLE
The thundering footsteps continue to plod as the thing starts to emerge
from behind the buildings. Now we can see part of a blue garment covering
its enormous chest.