You missed my loophole. I said "pretty much" which gets me out of that.... so HA!

 

I am not catholic, but I have always wanted to go to one of those confession booth thingies and tell all kinds of crazy stories.

 

Like I said earlier I went to Catholic school up until 12th grade. From 6th grade on it was an all boys school.
They wanted to offer us everything that normal Catholic schools had (we were not a Parish nor did we have a Church, or Priests) so they brought in a few Priests and put them in opposite corners of the gym and had one on one seating. We all stood in line and one guy would go.

Well, your supposed to be able to tell a Priest anything and it stays between you the Priest and God. So we, being 14-18 year old boys told the Priests what was going on in our lives, we confessed our sins.

Problem is the sins of a 16 year old boy who doesn't care what this Priest, who he is never going to see again, thinks become graphic stories. We told them all about pre-marital sex, drug use, shop lifting, underage drinking, lying, cheating, stealing, fighting, masturbation, everything.

The Priests sat down with all the Brothers (who ran our school) and the net week we were all brought in for lectures on the dangers of Sex, Drugs, Theft, Cheating, Lying, Mastubation, the whole deal.

It was hilarious watching these grown men try and tell a 16 year old kid that humping his girlfriend is bad. I will never forget the looks on the Priests faces when I told him I was engaging in Pre-Marital sex. He asked if this was common and I said "Between me and the girl, or between all the boys and thier girlfriends" I then told him that we had done it about 30-40 times. His jaw almost hit the floor, but my last name is Collins and we went in alphabetical order, I can't imagine the looks on their faces when they got to Yellicoh, the last kid in our class.

 

Good story!




Reminds me of the Beavis & Butthead when St. Peter was talking to Beavis about all the times he touched himself... "that was cool, heh heh heh"... "No Beavis, that was not cool!"

 

hahah, what would of been even better is if you guys had said "father so and so had bent you over his desk to *ahem*"

 

IMO, it's all a waste of time. I personally gave up on religion.

I was brought up a christian, and as it goes in most countries, I too had to attend some kinda 'formation' which for us Finnish people, is usually done in the form of a summer camp thing (usually it last longer, but since I lived abroad, I only had to go for a few weeks).

Well, I thought it was all bollocks, but my parents told me that I can't get legally married in a church if I don't go to this thing, so I gave up and went.

Oh how times have changed, for all of it was BS. Pay any church and priest enough money, and they'll do the whole ceremony and blah blah for you, be you christian or not.

So umm... I raise my two fingers up at christianity and to all of it's lies.

Have a good day.

 

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.

The priest asked, "Is that you, little Johnny?

"Yes, Father it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you.

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight-lipped, Johnny, and I admire that. But you'e sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for four months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

Johnny replies, "Four months' vacation and five good leads."